Today, I realized that my dandruff issue was so horrible, that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML

by ew / 10/27/2010 at 1:24am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I went to the new Walmart to buy a space heater. After dodging cones in the parking lot, and trying to open several doors while employees looked on, I checked the sign, which said "24 hours." I then realized is stated that the grand opening is tomorrow. I'm now sitting in my apartment shivering. FML

by Bellucy27 / 10/26/2010 at 11:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML

by zzzgrady / 10/26/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

by DriveMeNot / 10/26/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 4:34pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML

by WTF / 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML

by oaksac191 / 10/26/2010 at 12:50pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I found out I received a "D" on my ethics exam, not because I did not know the information or did not follow the correct guidelines for writing the moral arguments, but because according to my professor my moral values are wrong. FML

by ecuboy / 10/26/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

by Deidle-dee / 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 9:50am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found that windshield wipers on my car had been stolen. I bought a pair of new ones for around $10 but when I was trying to put them in place, I failed to hold a wiper holder and it slipped down on the windshield, causing cracks. Now I have to replace the windshield which will cost approximately $150. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 7:02am / Ukraine (Cherkas'ka Oblast') / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML

by skippy_liz / 10/26/2010 at 3:48am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

by robthebuilder / 10/26/2010 at 2:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work