Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML

#5502939
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20892) - you deserved it (1742)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML

#5502747
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48455) - you deserved it (3777)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I removed the safety padding from around the trampoline because it seemed useless. This afternoon, I did a backflip, got my hair stuck in the springs, ripped out a chunk of my hair, and face planted it into the brick pavers. FML

#5501456
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10054) - you deserved it (74142)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by Not-so-good-gymnast (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I received a $100 bill in the mail as a late graduation present. I placed it on the table so I could go to the bathroom. I come back to find the table empty and my $100 bill missing. The fan blew the money on the floor and my 8 week old puppy ate it. FML

#5500078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35027) - you deserved it (16146)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:32am - money - by TractorUWG (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I turned down an invite to a huge private party that is rarely given to freshmen in college, because I felt bad that I hadn't had a chance to talk to my girlfriend in a couple of days. I called her a couple of hours later. She answered with, "Hey, I'm at a party. I will call you tomorrow?" FML

#5498846
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33152) - you deserved it (19505)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:23am - love - by Dead_Eye (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38342) - you deserved it (3087)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had lunch with friends I hadn't seen in years. We took a few group shots with my camera, and I went home and downloaded them to my computer. Seeing them on my monitor, I noticed a yellow spot on my black shirt, so I looked down. A big, dried booger was stuck there. FML

#5498467
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (9638)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by PigPen (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML

#5497802
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (3932)

On 09/27/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by bubblegummm13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

#5497361
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37558) - you deserved it (3651)

On 09/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

#5494744
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8087) - you deserved it (60097)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by civicman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49440) - you deserved it (3843)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

#5492768
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35041) - you deserved it (2873)

On 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I wrote to the guy whom I am in love with how I feel about him. He was very calm and told me to give him some time to think it over. Later in the day, I found out he blocked my number and rejected me on facebook. But, the worse part is he then texted me saying "This is my reply". FML

#5490977
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33511) - you deserved it (4599)

On 09/26/2009 at 7:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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