Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

#2990758
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20110) - you deserved it (42636)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

#2990755
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45302) - you deserved it (8169)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a job interview but couldn't find my car keys. I had searched the entire apartment and had missed the interview. Turns out they were in my pocket the entire time. FML

#2989467
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14177) - you deserved it (48992)

On 06/18/2009 at 6:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went for a really important job interview. She loved my portfolio and we got along really well. But I guess that a corner of my skirt got caught underneath my shoe when I stood up to shake her hand, exposing my teenytiny underwear and neglected bikini line. She didnt shake my hand back. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

#2987293
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49907) - you deserved it (3110)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (109812)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

#2984758
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9484) - you deserved it (39030)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:31am - health - by ihpgolj (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79069) - you deserved it (3044)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a very crowded bus, standing near the back door. People had to get off at the stop, and being near the door, I had to step off the bus, allowing the people to exit. I was about to enter back into the bus, the door closed and the bus driver took off, leaving me stranded. FML

#2984203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38321) - you deserved it (5317)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by coco (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML

#2983603
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46680) - you deserved it (5971)

On 06/18/2009 at 12:52am - love - by savvylady (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

#2980433
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43238) - you deserved it (15893)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by fcnk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with a friend at IHOP. When I left, a middle aged man in the parking lot offered me $100 to sleep with him in the dumpsters behind the building. That is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

#2976361
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41036) - you deserved it (3558)

On 06/17/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Pancakegirl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

#2975022
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51601) - you deserved it (4396)

On 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by automaticfail_00 (woman) - United States (California)



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