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Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

#3877886
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66403) - you deserved it (4410)

On 07/19/2009 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a letter in the mail stating that I had won a trip to Cancun, Mexico. It looked like a scam so I threw it away. I later found out that it was a birthday present from my cousin and the envelope also contained a check for 5 thousand dollars to help cover some expenses. FML

#3877056
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24365) - you deserved it (64330)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:11am - money - by Unluckyducky (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a Starbucks drive-thru and was grabbing a hot coffee when I got rear ended and my car hit the vehicle in front of me which deployed my airbag. Hot coffee can really burn when it hits your face at a high rate of speed. FML

#3875219
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49200) - you deserved it (3419)

On 07/19/2009 at 3:25am - health - by coffeeburns (man) - United States

Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML

#3875775
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46853) - you deserved it (7343)

On 07/19/2009 at 3:25am - work - by Eh... (man) - Ukraine (Kyyivs'ka Oblast')

imajinethat's comment : It's not your fault his daughter's a skank.

See all the comments →

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML

#3874570
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10240) - you deserved it (56720)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:45am - love - by DramaQueen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting in line with a friend, and she poked my stomach and said, "I wish I had your stomach." I asked her why. She said, "Boys wouldn't flirt with me." FML

#3872340
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45439) - you deserved it (4902)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Pusillanimous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML

#3868753
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you deserved it (3460)

On 07/18/2009 at 11:12pm - animals - by omgjessp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML

#3867495
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45232) - you deserved it (15589)

On 07/18/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by preggersss (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27256) - you deserved it (59848)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

#3863732
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47480) - you deserved it (12547)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by blackntangirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

#3862614
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47247) - you deserved it (7277)

On 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by xobeachbabi428ox - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

#3861516
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71709) - you deserved it (7649)

On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. On our way to the Space Needle I was pulled over and promptly arrested. Apparently, I had recently purchased a car from a man who had robbed a jewelery store. The ring is now evidence. FML

#3860053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55499) - you deserved it (2909)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by diamondsareforever (man) - United States (Washington)



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