Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

#1278797
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37333) - you deserved it (4794)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:53pm - misc - by NoFightResponse (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

#1274514
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41143) - you deserved it (2573)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by pleasebackintomycaragain (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

#1268284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16563) - you deserved it (48064)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML

#1259995
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26087) - you deserved it (67970)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by gabormelchior (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

#1259883
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (21042)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by NotAmericanIdol (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

#1259659
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14444) - you deserved it (43816)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm - work - by Kylene (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

#1259503
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64661) - you deserved it (7511)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56703) - you deserved it (5166)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from a two-week overseas business trip. My wife was at work, but she came home for lunch. When she came in, she brushed right past me to hug and talk to her dog. When I mentioned it, she said, "But I haven't seen him all day!" FML

#1252087
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56277) - you deserved it (3495)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:09am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML

#1252077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48089) - you deserved it (2493)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML

#1251660
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (51228)

On 04/23/2009 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I parked downtown for a few minutes to pick up a pizza. As I was getting out of my car, a sketchy guy came up and asked me for $5. I told him to get lost and walked away. I walked back to the lot with my pizza and my car was gone. The sketchy guy was a parking attendent. He had my car towed. FML

#1251625
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11241) - you deserved it (62002)

On 04/23/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

#1250715
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16042) - you deserved it (83489)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:42am - intimacy - by waitforit (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: