Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (3028)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML

#8159042
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (4762)

On 02/12/2010 at 3:41am - love - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (2588)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my cell phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss decided to dock my hours. FML

#8158175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (2370)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML

#8156006
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22001) - you deserved it (4023)

On 02/12/2010 at 1:20am - health - by a - United States (Maryland)

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (2672)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

hjrn's comment : you so need to report that!!!

See all the comments →

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (3708)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML

#8153164
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13179) - you deserved it (27128)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:03am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we had our second snow day in a row, something that never happens. So while the rest of school got to sleep late, I had to wake up early, get dressed, and go to my bus stop because my mom didn't believe me. FML

#8153110
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28842) - you deserved it (2987)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by goestoschoolonsnowdays - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

#8148344
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22920) - you deserved it (5774)

On 02/11/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by Female - United States

Today, I bundled up to shovel my car out of almost 2 feet of snow, only to find my car was gone. I ran into the nearby police station to report my stolen car. The policeman trudged down with me to get a report. I had parked my car on the other side of the street. FML

#8144453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5787) - you deserved it (29762)

On 02/11/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by snowbunny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

#8142277
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10115) - you deserved it (17741)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:25pm - health - by unknown002 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

#8140774
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7093) - you deserved it (31504)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by SummersEve (man) - United States (New York)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: