Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML

by lambxox / 11/08/2010 at 4:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

by yay! / 11/08/2010 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

by Telinaa / 11/07/2010 at 9:25pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML

by jadehin / 11/07/2010 at 8:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my Halloween costume finally showed up in the mail. Their consolation for a late delivery? A 50 cent discount. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:05pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 5:07pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Animals

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 5:00pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 4:32pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my family went to a football game. It was a little cold, but then it started to rain. I wasn't dressed for rain and I'd left my umbrella in the car. My dad wouldn't let us leave our seats for the whole game. FML

by kaitlintaylor / 11/07/2010 at 4:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my manager informed me that I will not be completing my job training because I'll be transferring to a different store, and if they want me to work there, that's their problem. Today, I also found out that the new store will not accept me as a transfer unless I've already been trained. FML

by Problem / 11/07/2010 at 3:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids