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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he was leaving me because we haven't slept together in a few weeks. I just gave birth to our first child and am still recovering from my c-section. FML

#3570179
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83743) - you deserved it (7636)

On 07/08/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Applelover012 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML

#3564614
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48799) - you deserved it (3770)

On 07/07/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by hopeless (man) - United States

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124556) - you deserved it (4584)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

LOLPWNTHAHA's comment : OH SNAP! tell your mom? also maybe cover the window?

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Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

#3561385
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51884) - you deserved it (8215)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me I was a bad daughter because I didn't get anything for my parents' anniversary. I just sent my brother a check for $400 for my share of their gift. FML

#3560349
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38357) - you deserved it (2577)

On 07/07/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by andrie09 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill on the floor and my dog ate it. The good news is, I startled her and she spit it right out. The bad news is, I still had to take it after it had been in my dog's mouth. FML

#3559417
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (17891)

On 07/07/2009 at 5:29pm - animals - by ssnickel - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML

#3555384
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7004) - you deserved it (62119)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

#3555037
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11297) - you deserved it (62933)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22111) - you deserved it (215363)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

NGM_47's comment : WOW!! you're stupid...even if it wasn't yours, you shouldn't have done that, you're just rude!! YDI x 100!!

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Today, I came home to found all of my belongings out on the street. My roommate, who is also my brother, apparantly neglected to pay his part of the rent, and we got evicted. FML

#3553379
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43614) - you deserved it (3560)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:00pm - money - by BrianP (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16817) - you deserved it (55662)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I began my job volunteering at an orphanage in Beijing, China, working with 7-year-olds who just started learning english. We played a game where, if you got caught, you had to sing a song. I got caught, so I chose the ABCs. They all knew the song perfectly, I missed 3 letters. FML

#3549560
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8717) - you deserved it (71281)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)



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