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Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML

Today, in Chem, I was chosen to hold the fire extinguisher just in case something happened while showing how to blow up a dangerous chemical. My teacher told me to spray if anything got out of control. He lit the fire and I freaked out and sprayed it. The entire wing of my school was evacuted. FML

#5131890
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9426) - you deserved it (41443)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by firefighter (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

#5131831
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you deserved it (6513)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

#5130583
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53855) - you deserved it (3619)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML

#5129906
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38284) - you deserved it (7116)

On 09/08/2009 at 4:48pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML

#5128591
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13687) - you deserved it (43136)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by NoMoreHeadphones (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

#5128135
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42046) - you deserved it (7386)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

#5126922
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5893) - you deserved it (77368)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

lenasaur's comment : Are you stupid? Most people all over the world understand English because its everywhere- schools, media, etc.

See all the comments →

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

#5126886
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50308) - you deserved it (3723)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:29pm - health - by UhOhhhh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

#5124739
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11081) - you deserved it (43046)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a few drinks with some mates at a bar, we were invited to the dancefloor with some girls. After some dancing and flirting, I felt a cheeky squeeze on my backside, and so I quickly returned the favour without looking back. A few minutes later at the bar, I realised my wallet was gone. FML

#5124276
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (11810)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:12am - money - by Dopeydancer (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

#5124019
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27463) - you deserved it (72106)

On 09/08/2009 at 8:29am - love - by nitwit (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

#5123353
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (18922)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:46am - love - by Charlie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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