Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I learned the hard way that my foundation shows up under a black light. At a black light party. No one told me until afterwards. Everyone took pictures. FML

#8492061
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24555) - you deserved it (4795)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by makeuuuuup (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML

#8490990
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (3882)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by lost_ina_dream (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33529) - you deserved it (4010)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after being dumped just 48 hours prior, I awoke from a night of passionate lovemaking with my ex. Last night, he came to my house, romanced me, and presented a possible future. This morning, when I got up to use the restroom, my laptop, money, and ex-boyfriend were gone. FML

#8480330
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25226) - you deserved it (9653)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Ennui (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

#8480132
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7331) - you deserved it (43867)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

#8479975
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22365) - you deserved it (9249)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by moobysrocks - United States

Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML

#8477900
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7425) - you deserved it (35050)

On 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by creamed (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML

#8476151
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31869) - you deserved it (3749)

On 02/20/2010 at 11:22am - love - by Bilirubin (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

#8474571
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31032) - you deserved it (2548)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:13am - health - by papertrains (woman) - Singapore

Today, I found out that my mother was having an affair with my boss "to help me keep my job" because she thought I was useless. FML

#8474459
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (2497)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:05am - work - by Nik - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

#8473008
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23705) - you deserved it (3099)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:03am - health - by bcoper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML

#8472964
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41313) - you deserved it (2432)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:59am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

#8472938
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11345) - you deserved it (38868)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: