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Today, my family and I were just about to leave the house for the vacation that I had been saving up for 3 years. I was coming down the stairs with a heavy suitcase and I tripped and fell breaking my leg, now my family's gone without me while I'm in hospital. I paid for the vacation. FML

#4106793
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53852) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:12pm - health - by broken (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

#4105685
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7579) - you deserved it (112833)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by idiot (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

#4105054
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10639) - you deserved it (71745)

On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States

Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML

#4103761
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41208) - you deserved it (16728)

On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, on my way to work I stopped at a winery and spent around $120 on 2 bottles of wine for my boss, since it was his birthday. When I gave him the gift, in exchange he let me know I am being laid off - his consolation was "if you can afford this wine I'm sure you'll be OK". FML

#4103209
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47737) - you deserved it (3757)

On 07/28/2009 at 8:27am - work - by JobHunter (man) - Malta

Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

#4102567
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8636) - you deserved it (110907)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

#4100528
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62180) - you deserved it (2916)

On 07/28/2009 at 3:29am - work - by skygoddess (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML

#4099565
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48585) - you deserved it (2360)

On 07/28/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by partypooper (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a group job interview, where all the applicants seem to have the same qualifications. When the interviewer dismissed all of us but the prettiest girl, outraged, I told him he was a prejudiced pig, and should be ashamed of himself. Apparently she was the only one who had a car. FML

#4098846
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7088) - you deserved it (52029)

On 07/28/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a sunburn all over my stomach from a tanning bed. In an attempt to relieve the itching, I looked up natural treatments since we have no aloe. After trying yogurt, milk and mayo I found out that our water was shut off so the shower could be fixed. I now reek of mayo and milk. FML

#4097731
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13127) - you deserved it (42016)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:19am - health - by erika (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47415) - you deserved it (9097)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML

#4096653
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (5705)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:47am - health - by crazymirrors (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

#4095449
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43477) - you deserved it (7353)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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