Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

#4382309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61722) - you deserved it (3553)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:42am - misc - by oshitdonotwant (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

#4381633
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9617) - you deserved it (58058)

On 08/08/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

snowsock's comment : Wait, you exposed your midriff because you are feeling confident and wanted to give them a little peek? What are you, Amish? Here's a tip, no one cares.

See all the comments →

Today, I flew my girlfriend to Paris for our one year anniversary. Little did I know that instead of going up the Eiffel Tower and over looking the most romantic city she would rather spend it in bed with a French man. FML

#4380859
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51743) - you deserved it (4387)

On 08/08/2009 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

#4380799
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46254) - you deserved it (2577)

On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

#4380493
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41047) - you deserved it (6171)

On 08/08/2009 at 4:48am - misc - by rivercitybarf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17856) - you deserved it (76104)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

#4379266
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14286) - you deserved it (49864)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on an airplane back from California. I decided to check out my new $1500 MacBook that I bought the day before. My son decided to projectile vomit all over me, my new computer, and my bag. None of it got on him. FML

#4377271
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37713) - you deserved it (5232)

On 08/08/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by New computer - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

#4376703
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10354) - you deserved it (41656)

On 08/08/2009 at 1:04am - work - by ilikemusicokay (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, was my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

#4375044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43250) - you deserved it (2481)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by dentistftw (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML

#4374791
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61308) - you deserved it (3320)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by madaskueuchiha (man) - United States (Florida)

HumansSuck's comment : Congratulations, you're a thirteen year old boy on the internet and you're using correct grammar. Your life isn't fucked; you still have a future.

See all the comments →

Today, I got my annual blood test. The nurse was inexperienced and it took her several tries to insert the needle properly. When I get back home, my fiancé starts yelling at me and storms out. The reason? I am a recovering drug addict and my arm appeared as if I had been shooting up. FML

#4372351
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48313) - you deserved it (5959)

On 08/07/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by lydiacoolness (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

#4371069
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40617) - you deserved it (6333)

On 08/07/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by scarredforlife (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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