Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11199) - you deserved it (50146)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

#3295379
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58020) - you deserved it (4453)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

#3292838
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45034) - you deserved it (4018)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I left my brand new iPod Touch outside. There had been a drought for the past 3 weeks. Not anymore. FML

#3292692
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10783) - you deserved it (61802)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

#3288999
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44375) - you deserved it (7025)

On 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by Tonya (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML

#3285415
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46443) - you deserved it (3830)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm - kids - by failure (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I got my hair done, eyebrows waxed, and a new expensive dress to impress my boyfriend. When I got home I asked him if he noticed anything different about me. He looked at me for one minute before asking, "Did you finally start using Proactive?" FML

#3285279
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41733) - you deserved it (5201)

On 06/27/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Acneface - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's been a few days since I decided to give this girl I like the silent treatment.I've been writing on/off with her for a few weeks, but decided to stop a bit, to seem mysterious. When I logged on Facebook today, her status was "..is so happy that annoying guy has stopped writing to me!" FML

#3279854
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17450) - you deserved it (57441)

On 06/27/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by jake (man) - Denmark (Frederiksborg)

Today, my husband passed a massive kidney stone. He is so proud of it that he wants to decorate our home with it. It is now sitting on my kitchen counter next to my produce. FML

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

#3271801
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55464) - you deserved it (6873)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

#3271305
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60620) - you deserved it (9157)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Victim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that a co-worker of mine that I had originally hired, trained, and mentored to work in my department for the past 4 years had just got the promotion that I had applied for. He is now my boss. FML

#3269585
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44315) - you deserved it (4888)

On 06/27/2009 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123678) - you deserved it (9174)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan



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