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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, It took me more than 4 hours to set up the back yard for my daughters baby shower. It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers. FML

#3143801
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43099) - you deserved it (3352)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by stew (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24491) - you deserved it (67189)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

#3142518
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26319) - you deserved it (77510)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

#3141332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52804) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my little nieces and nephews were about to have a water balloon fight. I was told to take pictures. They hit me. And my $600 camera. FML

Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML

#3137998
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42249) - you deserved it (4546)

On 06/23/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by FastFlight (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

#3137659
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52237) - you deserved it (3200)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML

#3137547
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38980) - you deserved it (4510)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:16am - health - by usmcpain (man) - United States

Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML

#3137234
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8155) - you deserved it (60702)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:04am - work - by Don't text and work (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

#3136598
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17592) - you deserved it (41225)

On 06/23/2009 at 12:44am - animals - by Xtine (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML

#3134533
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34152) - you deserved it (23692)

On 06/22/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by MrZhang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was looking through my high school yearbook. I found a picture of myself and a couple of my friends at our senior prom. The caption gave the names of all my friends, their dates who didn't attend our school, and listed me only as "guest." FML

#3132643
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38682) - you deserved it (2478)

On 06/22/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by highschoolnobody (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML

#3130305
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52797) - you deserved it (9974)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:13pm - health - by JK710 - United States (Georgia)



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