Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I cummd home from school an ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2 . In mah hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I askd mah older brother who was walking by to close it 4 me . After a while he didn't respond, so I lookd up to see not mah brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap . FML

#5513744
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28993) - you deserved it (19146)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by thanksbro (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was preparing to perform with mah marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offerd to help me stretch. He wound up snapping mah bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entre show while mah boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (5089)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, while mah boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he lookd down at mah chest and said "I can't wait fir the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime looool soon. FML

#5509745
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21181) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by e11ie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog did. I spent ages digging him a grave an burid him in the garden so that my dad wouldn't have to deal with the stress when he got home from work. When my dad got home he told me that he had wantd the dog to be crematd. I have just had to dig up my dog's body. FML

#5509670
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37557) - you deserved it (4588)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today my boyfriend found out that he has kidney failure. He was feeling sick for a few weeks an I had told him to drink lots of fluids an eat vegetables. Apparently that is really bad for kidney patients. I was killing him with water an spinach salads. FML

Today , I Was Walking With My Grlfriend When A Little Guy Walkd Up An Flrtd With Her!! I'm A Pretty Weak Guy An He Lookd Weaker , So I Gave Him A Little Push An Said ( Back Off )!! He's Actually Not Weak At All!! I've Got A Black Eye An A Grlfriend Who Won't Stop Laughing To Prove It!! FML

#5506642
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13707) - you deserved it (37853)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Taday I had a restraining order putted on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside thier home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street 4 the past six yeres. FML

#5505995
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48711) - you deserved it (2121)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today I was walkinghilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. mega FML

#5504838
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8770) - you deserved it (46035)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I saw a cockroach on tha cailing. Immadiataly I got a stick to smack it down. Whan I hit it, it fall and landad in mah mouth. Karma much? FML

#5504696
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36625) - you deserved it (15081)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by cockroach (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I listened to mah voice mail messages fir the first time in months. One was from mah Grandma that must have been meant fir Gramps. I think I know now y mah mother has so many siblings. FML

#5502939
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20866) - you deserved it (1741)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, Boyfriend Broke Up With Me, By Text, While We Were In The Same Room . FML

#5502747
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48417) - you deserved it (3775)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today I Removed The Safety Padding From Around The Trampoline Because It Seemed Useless!! This Afternoon I Did A Backflip Got My Hair Stuck In The Springs Ripped Out A Chunk Of My Hair And Face Planted It Into The Brick Pavers!! Big Fat FML

#5501456
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10035) - you deserved it (74101)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by Not-so-good-gymnast (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I receivd a $100 bill in the mail as a late graduation present!! I placd it on the table so I could go to the bathroom!! I come back to fine the table empty and my $100 bill missing!! The fan blew the money on the floor and my 8 week old puppy ate it!! FML

#5500078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34999) - you deserved it (16138)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:32am - money - by TractorUWG (man) - United States (Georgia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: