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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML

#8794637
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (3245)

On 03/03/2010 at 6:13am - misc - by ouch... (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (3825)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML

#8792170
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10235) - you deserved it (20793)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

#8791627
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21541) - you deserved it (7769)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States

Today, I had to sell my only means of transportation, my 92 Chrysler Lebaron to a junking company because the transmission blew. When the guy finally got there, I had to shovel out the 5 feet of snow around my car, help him push it, and help him hook it up. Then his dog bit me. I only got $100. FML

#8791575
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24797) - you deserved it (2658)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:06am - animals - by MetalAtlas (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

#8790917
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35759) - you deserved it (2644)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:37am - misc - by holycrap (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was perusing my mom's Facebook. I noticed she has an album of pictures for each member of the family, except me. The dog has an album. FML

#8790024
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27773) - you deserved it (2591)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9284) - you deserved it (27931)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML

#8781729
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (2871)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JackG - United States (Montana)

Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML

#8781188
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23833) - you deserved it (3905)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:03pm - health - by sunny_ca559 - United States

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28022) - you deserved it (3058)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

#8776576
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23771) - you deserved it (5033)

On 03/02/2010 at 5:05pm - misc - by Natalie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28510) - you deserved it (2576)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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