Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I'm a 15 year old boy who is bald. Why am I bald? My little brother thought it would be funny to put glue in my hair gel. FML

#8799499
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33956) - you deserved it (4677)

On 03/03/2010 at 2:11pm - kids - by M95 (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

#8797696
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24180) - you deserved it (7626)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7337) - you deserved it (23865)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (7440)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

Today, I was on a date with a guy I met online. After 30 minutes, he abruptly stands up and says he has to leave. He practically ran out of Starbucks to get away from me. FML

#8795495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (6735)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:21am - love - by Carrie - United States

Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML

#8794637
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (3245)

On 03/03/2010 at 6:13am - misc - by ouch... (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33442) - you deserved it (3825)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML

#8792170
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10235) - you deserved it (20792)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

#8791627
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21541) - you deserved it (7769)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States

Today, I had to sell my only means of transportation, my 92 Chrysler Lebaron to a junking company because the transmission blew. When the guy finally got there, I had to shovel out the 5 feet of snow around my car, help him push it, and help him hook it up. Then his dog bit me. I only got $100. FML

#8791575
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24798) - you deserved it (2658)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:06am - animals - by MetalAtlas (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

#8790917
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35759) - you deserved it (2644)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:37am - misc - by holycrap (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was perusing my mom's Facebook. I noticed she has an album of pictures for each member of the family, except me. The dog has an album. FML

#8790024
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27773) - you deserved it (2591)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)



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