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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

#8837670
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (3669)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:23am - work - by koletatlow19 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (12570)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (3504)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML

#8830762
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36292) - you deserved it (3062)

On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML

#8828123
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (5219)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Stephanie (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML

#8828114
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21521) - you deserved it (8457)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by ugh - United States

Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML

#8824498
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (16185)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:01pm - kids - by disguested (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

#8824480
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25080) - you deserved it (3350)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

#8824133
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (8835)

On 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm - misc - by dpod121 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26704) - you deserved it (2690)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

#8822462
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37539) - you deserved it (9881)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I went out to eat with a group of couples and my boyfriend. All my friends boyfriends paid for them. Mine didn't, and said that I should order off the diet menu. FML

#8821558
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31954) - you deserved it (5344)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51am - love - by Sam - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28119) - you deserved it (6455)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States



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