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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML

#3109891
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (8393)

On 06/22/2009 at 1:43am - health - by badeats (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

#3109528
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36031) - you deserved it (18468)

On 06/22/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by FathersDay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

#3108036
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10154) - you deserved it (77035)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

#3107443
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59087) - you deserved it (2797)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:11am - kids - by Al (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I spent an hour writing 80 thank you cards to everyone who attended my graduationg party. After carefully personalizing each one and sealing them shut, I realized I did not mark the envelopes with names. FML

#3107410
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15754) - you deserved it (42500)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained puppies with him. As we were eating dinner, I dropped part of my sandwich in a liquid that was on the tablecloth. Thinking it was water, I ate it. As I chewed, I realized the liquid wasn't water. My sandwich was dipped in dog urine. FML

#3107259
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (17601)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:04am - animals - by ihatedogs (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML

#3104897
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60199) - you deserved it (4519)

On 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States

Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML

#3102076
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9847) - you deserved it (58582)

On 06/21/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by TheFlash (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

#3100953
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49699) - you deserved it (3259)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:37pm - work - by blahpizzablah (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML

#3097066
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34445) - you deserved it (19845)

On 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm - kids - by loli-conned (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML

#3096413
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60707) - you deserved it (3474)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

#3096278
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36863) - you deserved it (4806)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:41pm - animals - by FML (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went shopping at a thrift store. I found a really cute top that fit me perfectly, so I bought it. Afterwards, I noticed the original tag was still on it. It read: "designed with your pregnancy in mind". It was a maternity top. FML

#3096016
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38471) - you deserved it (13624)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (California)



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