FML : Your everyday life stories

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

By Jonathan / Monday 13 October 2008 08:27 /

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but in fact, it wasn’t her. FML

By Jigll / Monday 13 October 2008 08:26 /

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but in fact, it wasn’t her. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 13 October 2008 08:25 /

The illustrated FMLs

agreeillustrated

Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear the postman at the door. He never came. I stink. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 13 October 2008 08:25 /

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

By Anonymous / Monday 13 October 2008 08:24 / Australia

Today, I got braces fitted. For the next two years, I'll be the most handsome guy on earth. FML

By Sarah91 / Monday 13 October 2008 08:23 /

Today, for the first time I sat next to a hot babe. I was feeling nervous, nevertheless, I managed to shyly ask her phone number. It’s only when I arrived back home that I realized there was a digit missing. FML

By bym / Monday 13 October 2008 08:23 /

Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML

By mehdi-online / Monday 13 October 2008 08:22 /

Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML

By RaYan / Monday 13 October 2008 08:22 /

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

By RatQuiRit / Monday 13 October 2008 08:21 /

Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML

Phew, glad it wasn't me

By mehdi / Monday 13 October 2008 08:20 /

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

By Cyberdeeder / Monday 13 October 2008 08:19 /

Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn. Ike and Josephine want to come and say hi too. They’re not friends of ours, but rather the next cyclones that may pass by the island. FML

By mocass’1 - / Monday 13 October 2008 08:19 / France

World

Cuba

Phew, glad it wasn't me

By weatherlike - / Tuesday 2 September 2008 05:12 / Cuba

World

Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and when the mom dies, my eyes tear up. The girls', not so much. They climb on my knees, telling me that it's just a cartoon. FML

Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to the next level. While putting my hand under her skirt, I feel something out of place. I look at her and she says, “What? You prefer ladies?” FML

By Nucléotide - / Monday 28 July 2008 09:37 / France

World

Thailand

Phew, glad it wasn't me

By g - / Tuesday 22 April 2008 05:53 / Thailand

World

Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a while, and I'd always wanted an uncommon proposal. As we get to the top, my mind started to fantasize. As he rifled through his pockets, I think to myself, “This is it, our big moment!” He then says, “I've always wanted to smoke a cigarette at 300 meters." FML

By birkin - / Tuesday 22 April 2008 03:13 / France

World

Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of his fingernails. FML

Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy to have friends, I listened with a smile. All of them were from my mother. FML

By alex - / Wednesday 5 March 2008 15:17 / France

World

Today, just before going into an test, I broke my glasses on the way to the exam room. I'm short sighted, and I spent an hour with my nose glued to the paper trying to figure out what was written on it. It was a opthalmology exam. FML

By Louna - / Tuesday 4 March 2008 23:08 /

World

Today, while playing golf, someone broke my nose. The clubhouse calls an ambulance, and I go to hospital. I call my girlfriend to come and pick me up downstairs; she runs over my foot with her car. FML

By la taupe temporaire - / Tuesday 4 March 2008 17:26 /

World

Today, I have to have lunch alone because I'm on a business trip. I go to McDonald's, grab some food and sit outside. School is out, and Ronald McDonald arrives with a bunch of kids, points at me and says, "Look kids, Mister here has no friends, he has to eat alone!" FML

By Thanderska - / Tuesday 4 March 2008 01:02 /

World

Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my car. FML

By KRW - / Monday 3 March 2008 14:56 /

World

Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket. FML

By Smile - / Monday 3 March 2008 05:04 /

World

Today, the weather was nice, so I went for a ride on my motorbike. I sneezed inside my helmet. Full-face helmet, might I add. FML

By Daddy - / Monday 3 March 2008 03:33 /

World

By TheBiker - / Saturday 1 March 2008 05:54 /

World

Today, I finally get to know the girl from my college that I've been into for months. The conversation is pleasant. We live in the same neighborhood. I say that the restaurant I live above is really disgusting. Turns out it belongs to her parents. FML

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of a bra he claimed I left at his house. I know every single bra I own, and it wasn't one of them, or so I thought....

By lpilou - / Saturday 1 March 2008 04:33 / France

FML

The Top

Today, after two weeks of intense detective work, I found out my wife isn't cheating on me after all. She really has just been going out and playing table...

Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana Grace. My sister just revealed she is having a girl and...

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

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Nearly

Today I gave my out of work husband $250 because he was LITERALLY crying that he didn't have enough money to pay his car insurance. Then he went to the...

Today, my 11 year old sleeps with a sleeping mask on, but needs her bedroom door open because "I don't like it too dark" FML.

Today, I was alone in the house at night when I almost died of fright after seeing a woman staring at me through the window. I screamed before realizing...

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World

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Venezuela

Argentina

Today, I chose a new song to be the ringtone for my new cell phone. After waiting all day for someone to call me, I had to ask my husband, who was sitting...

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Photos

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Spicy

Today, someone shat liquid poo in the hallway at work. Right. Outside. The bathroom. Another foot and they could have used a toilet instead of the carpeted...