Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (3216)
On 09/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by CollegeFreshman (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I participated in the school play. My family came to see me in the production. All was going well when my dad came up to me and said, "Where the fuck were you? The show sucked." Thanks dad for not recognizing your own daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34547) - you deserved it (2464)
On 09/10/2009 at 10:45pm - kids - by Stevieebabyy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while at work I passed out due to my blood sugar not being normal. Despite the fact that it took 10 minutes to wake me, no one thought I was in any sort of danger. After the episode, I then got fired for "sleeping on the job." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (2502)
On 09/10/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Indiana)
Today, while at my parent's house I decided to take a shower. I had to use my sister's bathroom and once out, grabbed a comb from her cupboard to brush my hair. I then noticed the clumps of hair on my shoulders. It's a razor comb on one side, regular on the other. I used the wrong side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (16560)
On 09/10/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12545) - you deserved it (69381)
On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47442) - you deserved it (7916)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45755) - you deserved it (6977)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving my new car home when I came around a sharp turn to see a groundhog in the road. I kindly stopped and allowed it to cross when all of the sudden a car slammed into the back of mine. Then, another car went flying around us. That car hit and killed the groundhog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (11183)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by hatecolin (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34359) - you deserved it (7573)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49025) - you deserved it (2211)
On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announces incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime" and my wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (2684)
On 09/10/2009 at 11:58am - misc - by siggit - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was leaving my job at a huge mall. I couldn't find my car anywhere, so I panicked and flagged a security officer. I cried while he drove me around for miles in the endless parking lot. Then, suddenly, I remembered. My friend had dropped me off in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8712) - you deserved it (50940)
On 09/10/2009 at 10:15am - work - by ritz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sitting in my garden and having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies. I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them and tried to catch their tails like I used to when I was a kid. They were exotic wasps. Ouch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12609) - you deserved it (44574)
On 09/10/2009 at 9:40am - animals - by Lala (woman) - Philippines (Batangas)
Thursday 22 January 2015
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