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Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML

#3531559
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7029) - you deserved it (75004)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation. She asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldnt get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML

#3529390
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54432) - you deserved it (2743)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to do rubik's cube. Even after being told how to do it, I couldn't finish it. I scroll down at the comments and read "Awesome! I'm 10 and can do it in 3 minutes now!". I'm 28 and still couldn't get it, even with a guide. FML

#3529242
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35239) - you deserved it (9814)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:08pm - work - by DoesNotLikeCubes (woman) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I saw a major accident then stopped to help the drivers. I was on my way to a rest stop to use the bathroom so as we were waiting for police I went into the woods and I come out to the police arresting me for public urination. One of the drivers said I was "using the woods for a bathroom." FML

#3528388
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40390) - you deserved it (3940)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by JMU (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia that is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of 2 years called and proposed to her. FML

#3528367
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50264) - you deserved it (20191)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by jadkins - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML

#3528361
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37305) - you deserved it (13805)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by WhitneyHouston (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML

#3528123
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51691) - you deserved it (6466)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

#3527232
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48500) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by AidenFromSweden (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

#3524400
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49655) - you deserved it (30048)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:51am - love - by dumpedovergame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister got her car repossessed. In order to get it back, my mom took $4,000.00 out of my bank account promising she would pay it back within a few months. She lost her job. FML

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

#3522499
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51870) - you deserved it (8036)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML



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