Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 3:13am / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

by sealy / 12/28/2010 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my parents didn't come to my wedding not because they couldn't make it, but rather that my younger brother didn't want to go. FML

by SharpeOne / 12/28/2010 at 1:54am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my mother in-law's flight home is canceled, and that she's staying three more days. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 1:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to choose between living with my over protective dad who only uses me for free childcare, or my pot smoking mom who always needs to borrow money. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 10:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money

Today, I realized that not only did my parents not get me anything for Christmas, they also stole the $500 my grandparents gave me to buy a computer. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 2:51pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Money

Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me for over five months, including while I was deployed to Afghanistan. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 1:21pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 12:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

by ohmy. / 12/27/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 12:11pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 11:28am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I took my kids to the doctor. In the waiting room, a six year old boy walked up to me, punched me in the crotch, and ran away with my glasses. When the kid's parents made him give me my glasses back, he spat on them. FML

by DeadDude / 12/27/2010 at 6:29am / Kids