Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United States / Work
Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
justsayfuck's comment : That is awful! Even if you hadn't dated him.
by Jaws / 02/10/2011 at 11:09am / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous
Today, I reported in for my first day at work. When I walked in they asked "Who are you?" I answered "Cassie, it's my first day today" with a huge smile. They'd meant to call and offer the job to the other Cassie they interviewed. FML
conniebaby67's comment : Omg that's horrible.
Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML
Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML
by geoduck / 02/10/2011 at 12:31am / United States / Work
by effyou / 02/10/2011 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer had kept my I.D by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
by Username / 02/09/2011 at 9:48pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by inosehowthatgotthere / 02/09/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by spiderchick23 / 02/09/2011 at 7:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally responded "Yeth ma'am". She ended the tour right there. FML
by Sam / 02/09/2011 at 3:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
meg238f's comment : Well, that's what happens when you laugh at people with problems. Are you 10?
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
by Samyett / 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…