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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before but they usually left early. I heard someone in the kitchen and thinking it was my brother, I said "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma responds, "No we're not." FML

#3307741
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6511) - you deserved it (66570)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I finally cracked the password on my husband's email account. I don't know which is worse: finding out your husband is cheating on you with several people, or finding his password includes his ex-girlfriend's name. FML

#3305940
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56333) - you deserved it (21957)

On 06/28/2009 at 1:42pm - love - by resipsahipsta (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got my yearbook for senior year in high school. I started what everyone does, which is count how many times I appear in the yearbook. I stopped when I found a prominent photo of me, picking my nose in class. FML

#3305444
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15746) - you deserved it (45197)

On 06/28/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML

#3302953
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66869) - you deserved it (10276)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:05pm - love - by honeymoonisover (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

#3302714
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90968) - you deserved it (6494)

On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands

Today, I took a shower after I finished typing an important essay I've been working on for days. My computer illiterate mum shut the computer down when I was gone, without saving a thing. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for "wasting electricity". FML

#3299965
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26909) - you deserved it (58798)

On 06/28/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by lifedamntough (woman) - Singapore

Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML

#3298219
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58937) - you deserved it (2614)

On 06/28/2009 at 4:25am - work - by WitchQueenLiz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first big time art show. To celebrate I went out to lunch with some people who's work was also there. When we got back police were every where. Someone had broken and stolen all of the art. All except mine. Even burglars don't want my art. FML

#3297823
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43834) - you deserved it (4708)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:54am - work - by not_dead_yet (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11156) - you deserved it (50101)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

#3295379
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57456) - you deserved it (4396)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

#3292838
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44966) - you deserved it (4013)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I left my brand new iPod Touch outside. There had been a drought for the past 3 weeks. Not anymore. FML

#3292692
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10756) - you deserved it (61691)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

#3288999
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44304) - you deserved it (7022)

On 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by Tonya (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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