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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out my fiancé is in a long distance relationship with his ex. Not only do we live on the same island, he's also my neighbor and my co-worker. FML

#9134899
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (3180)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:14pm - love - by KMAC (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

#9134827
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10263) - you deserved it (38984)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by splitzville (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (7461)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend since I believed him to be cheating on me with another woman, something he adamantly denied. I went to his house to get all my stuff back. After I left, I discovered a silk thong that definitely did not belong to me, in amongst my clothes. FML

#9132820
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31568) - you deserved it (4471)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:35pm - love - by Busted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had four teeth pulled, and my mom brought me some ice cream to help with the pain. I fell asleep before I could finish it, and without realising, I left the bowl on my bed. I woke up a few hours later with ice cream spilled all over me, my pants, and all over my now-dead phone. FML

#9131869
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25240) - you deserved it (10061)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by hkkilla - United States

Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriends father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town's paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He's the editor of the newspaper. FML

#9130183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13863) - you deserved it (45096)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:00pm - misc - by annonoymus - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

#9129865
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31250) - you deserved it (5423)

On 03/16/2010 at 11:30am - work - by slickboy0023 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

#9129175
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36764) - you deserved it (3213)

On 03/16/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by please_no (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I dropped my car keys down the elevator shaft at my dorm. I had parked my car at a parking meter, and now had no way to get change out of my car. It took six hours for someone to get my keys, and I now have a $75 parking ticket. FML

#9128496
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (4688)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:31am - misc - by Lea (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62387) - you deserved it (14447)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Sfugius's comment : Please, PLEASE tell me he didn't hide the ring in your Big Mac.

See all the comments →

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

#9127097
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (12859)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:27am - misc - by allwrong (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I chose a cute tank top and some shorts to wear. Later, I was shopping at Target with my dad when he pointed to a girl in the same isle and said to me, "Don't ever dress like that. It looks cute on her, but you couldn't pull it off." She was wearing shorts and a tank top. FML

#9124871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (4471)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Stella Grubner -

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8 hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I am now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

#9123169
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (3396)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:19am - work - by evenpoorer (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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