Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn't have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML

#7158540
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36835) - you deserved it (1885)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - work - by Me - France

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

#7158529
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22137) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was in a hurry to catch a plane. I got half way to the airport and realized I forgot my phone. I drove back to the house and searched for it. I finally gave up and returned to the airport only to find that I was 10 minutes late for my plane. Just then my pocket vibrated. FML

#7158067
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8863) - you deserved it (35017)

On 01/05/2010 at 1:40am - misc - by Allen - France

Today, after secretly smoking for more than 2 years, I decided to quit. I come home from work and I see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

#7157355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (38980)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:55am - misc - by tanksfan (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

#7156586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24323) - you deserved it (8716)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:15am - animals - by bels12 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

#7156329
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33424) - you deserved it (8823)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML

#7152531
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18983) - you deserved it (5319)

On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version

Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

#7151625
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (8111)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML

#7150726
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8867) - you deserved it (18769)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by bandcamp926 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

#7150091
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6558) - you deserved it (17943)

On 01/04/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by B-ran - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the dentist to get a baby tooth which had decayed removed. After almost an hour, I came out with a numb mouth and a missing tooth for life. It was not a baby tooth. FML

#7148180
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (6171)

On 01/04/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by meh (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from splash mountain. FML

#7148108
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32013) - you deserved it (3097)

On 01/04/2010 at 5:20pm - health - by onthetoilet - Sent from mobile version



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