Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

by ash / 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, a friend asked me to come with her to the art building at school, so I could pose in the stance of a figure she was drawing for her exam. I obliged and sat for the pose. When the art teacher walked by she looked at me, then at the sketch, pointed to the legs and said, "make them fatter". FML

by humiliated / 01/14/2011 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (East Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs. The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay. He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me. FML

by ValeyFallsAlot / 01/14/2011 at 9:18am / Health

Today, I got off work and checked my makeup in the mirror once I got in my car. I had a huge piece of spinach on my front tooth that no one told me about. I work the front desk of an upscale hotel and have been greeting guests all day. FML

by embarassed / 01/14/2011 at 5:11am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

afdude87's comment : haha wonder how long you've lived there...

See all the comments

Today, someone posted online a listing for a bicycle for sale, and accidentally put my phone number instead of their own. I have received more calls in one day than I have from friends and family in a week. FML

by wrongnumber / 01/14/2011 at 3:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 2:51am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 2:38am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Money

Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 11:30pm / Ireland / Intimacy

bagginzy's comment : Why? What was on your chest? Give us a pic and we'll find it; don't worry.

See all the comments

Today, while snow plowing I accidentally ran over my kid's basketball. I told him what had happened and he responded by spilling his ant farm into my underwear drawer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I had to do 40 squats with a medicine ball. I always made fun of medicine balls my whole life because they looked so easy that even senior citizens did them. I passed out in the middle of the gym. FML

by shadowsonicstar / 01/13/2011 at 8:17pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, while working at a dollar store, I was clobbered by a woman because apparently, I was ripping her off by charging two dollars for two doughnuts. She didn't understand that she couldn't buy multiple items at once for one dollar. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Work