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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I met with my realtor to close on a house for my boyfriend and me. While waiting for my boyfriend, I got a text message from him saying he was breaking up with me. I had already signed the papers on our house. Now I'm responsible for a mortgage that I can only afford with his help. FML

#3542974
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53477) - you deserved it (12760)

On 07/07/2009 at 12:48am - money - by housepoor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left something in my boss' office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breast feeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

#3537464
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (18666)

On 07/06/2009 at 10:09pm - work - by superclutz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

#3533033
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11641) - you deserved it (47734)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm - work - by Cody (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're highschool sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, " I've been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML

#3533001
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65194) - you deserved it (3672)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by imaloser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

#3531560
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6133) - you deserved it (74643)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML

#3531559
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7025) - you deserved it (74933)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation. She asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldnt get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML

#3529390
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54380) - you deserved it (2739)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to do rubik's cube. Even after being told how to do it, I couldn't finish it. I scroll down at the comments and read "Awesome! I'm 10 and can do it in 3 minutes now!". I'm 28 and still couldn't get it, even with a guide. FML

#3529242
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35052) - you deserved it (9794)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:08pm - work - by DoesNotLikeCubes (woman) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I saw a major accident then stopped to help the drivers. I was on my way to a rest stop to use the bathroom so as we were waiting for police I went into the woods and I come out to the police arresting me for public urination. One of the drivers said I was "using the woods for a bathroom." FML

#3528388
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40345) - you deserved it (3935)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by JMU (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia that is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of 2 years called and proposed to her. FML

#3528367
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50225) - you deserved it (20186)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by jadkins - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML

#3528361
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (13795)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by WhitneyHouston (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML

#3528123
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51665) - you deserved it (6465)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

#3527232
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48463) - you deserved it (3827)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by AidenFromSweden (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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