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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

#10813076
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9294) - you deserved it (41070)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by Teresa (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

#10812675
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14358) - you deserved it (57039)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:15am - love - by TheSickness (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

#10804191
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28625) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm - misc - by Fark (woman) - United Kingdom (Cumbria)

Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML

#10802234
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28228) - you deserved it (3930)

On 05/27/2010 at 4:59pm - misc - by Nchristine - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

#10796974
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42970) - you deserved it (3188)

On 05/27/2010 at 10:06am - misc - by reginaphalange - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

#10791004
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17899) - you deserved it (32927)

On 05/27/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

#10788025
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (3033)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to the pills my doctor prescribed for coughing, which I really need because I ripped a muscle in my stomach. Now my whole upper body is covered in a terrible itchy rash. I also found out it will last for at least another week. FML

#10779349
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28316) - you deserved it (2461)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

#10779310
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (3222)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Sarahfizzeller - United States (Ohio)

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

#10777630
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12089) - you deserved it (40185)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by noraidk - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

#10777263
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35918) - you deserved it (5806)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

#10775711
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31454) - you deserved it (5592)

On 05/26/2010 at 11:54am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I fell down the stairs carrying a huge TV. Don't worry, my body cushioned the TV's fall. FML

#10774629
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31968) - you deserved it (4718)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by hatestomove - United States (Texas)



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