Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML

by secret / 11/02/2010 at 3:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

by gingerninja / 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

by speechless / 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was after dark and I was nervous, so when he pulled up I immediately jumped in the car. The young girl in the driver's seat started freaking out, screaming and punching me in the face repeatedly. I'd accidentally gotten in the wrong car. FML

by blackandblue / 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say "Hello, my name is-" I sneezed right in her face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Work

Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML

by hannibal / 11/02/2010 at 9:44am / Australia / Transportation

Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 8:17am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me that if he was to break up with me, he would do it in a crowded location so I couldn't start to cry or make a scene. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 8:11am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

by treats / 11/02/2010 at 3:13am / Singapore / Animals

Today, I discovered that the upside of losing weight is that men have started hitting on me. The downside? They're all twice my age. FML

by stillyoung / 11/02/2010 at 2:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML

by saraleerocha / 11/02/2010 at 2:20am / Work

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 2:06am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.