Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

#7327213
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7606) - you deserved it (37091)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by nekkiddrunk - United States

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

#7325738
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20670) - you deserved it (2963)

On 01/13/2010 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by cantgetitupcantgetiton (woman) - United States

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22381) - you deserved it (3187)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

#7324438
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30737) - you deserved it (1851)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I did a 'dine and dash' and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

#7321652
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5415) - you deserved it (77328)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

#7321646
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11738) - you deserved it (39684)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm - love - by cowgurl91 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking a warm shower when someone in my house flushed the toilet, making the shower extremely hot. In my rush to get out so I wouldn't get burned, I slipped and knocked a tooth out. FML

#7321633
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32534) - you deserved it (4095)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by soccercrazed1520 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38534) - you deserved it (4723)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (14802)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

lahp's comment : that blows..... :D

See all the comments →

Today, I was going out with my supermodel-gorgeous friend, so I put extra effort into looking good. I thought I looked pretty good, but when we got to the station, a drunk old man looked at us and loudly announced "That's always the way it is, there's a fit one and an ugly one". FML

#7316718
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (3216)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:06am - love - by uglyone (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my friend told me men can't be trusted. I told her that wasn't true; I have my husband's password to his email but I never check it because I trust him. She bet me he was doing something bad, and to prove her wrong I looked. Turns out he has been cheating on me for 8 months. FML

#7316250
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40888) - you deserved it (5125)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:40am - love - by BetrayedGirl (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out where my favorite shirt has been for the last six months. My ex-fiancé's new girlfriend is wearing it. FML

Today, I had to pull cheese out of my PS3's disc tray because my younger brother assumed all PS3's could grill stuff because "Youtube told him." FML

#7315075
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32215) - you deserved it (3021)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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