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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML

#5269441
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50683) - you deserved it (8043)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML

#5269202
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28808) - you deserved it (8676)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by Unloved. (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML

#5269126
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37341) - you deserved it (2030)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Confused (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin and in a puddle of my own wee. FML

#5268497
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7762) - you deserved it (29103)

On 09/15/2009 at 4:13am - intimacy - by mybad7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my piano teacher told me that she "forgot" to inform me that she volunteered me to play a 5 page song in a recital in front of 300 people that's happening next week. FML

#5267545
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35087) - you deserved it (2920)

On 09/15/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by pianonerd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at work, and some people came in looking for a particular couch. After looking for over an hour on the wholesalers website my boss walks over, makes me take my lunch break and then calls over the couple and takes all the credit for the sale. We work on commission. FML

#5267039
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39577) - you deserved it (2721)

On 09/15/2009 at 1:35am - work - by Backseatseller (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

#5266141
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (7037)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work a little girl wanted a slushie. Instead of pushing the tab in, she lifted it up and broke the machine, spilling slushie all over the floor. I was the only one working, so I had to clean it all up. I spent the rest of my shift covered in red slushie and smelling like cherry. FML

#5265552
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (4340)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:17am - work - by conley19 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

#5263427
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42949) - you deserved it (4214)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I drove by a restaurant I ate at yesterday. I write a food review column for my college paper, and I've tried everything on their menu. They were being closed down today because a large amount of rat droppings was found in their food supplies. FML

stevets01's comment : Never give that kind of stuff to girlfriends, save it for the wives.

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Today, I was hanging out with a guy I liked. We sat in the gardens, me facing the path, him with his back to it. We were in deep conversation when I noticed a dog that looked exactly like mine. Then I looked up and saw a man that looked like my dad. Yes - my parents followed me on a date. FML

#5254705
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49395) - you deserved it (3270)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:30pm - love - by bumblebee (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger than me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

#5254272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23761) - you deserved it (39259)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)



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