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Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML

#4028166
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16779) - you deserved it (42129)

On 07/25/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by PeterRabit (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML

Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML

#4027991
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43018) - you deserved it (3897)

On 07/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

#4026521
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8077) - you deserved it (79695)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my mom lamenting the fact that none of my few relationships seem to last longer than 2 months. She asked why and I said, "because I'm paranoid, obsessive compulsive, judgmental, defensive, and stubborn." Instead of encouraging me, she said, "Well, at least you're honest." FML

#4026463
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11469) - you deserved it (41495)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:13am - love - by lonely (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML

#4025974
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48043) - you deserved it (8171)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:55am - kids - by Kimberly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML

#4021792
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16578) - you deserved it (48309)

On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend came home from being deployed for the past 3 months. As soon as he gets out of the car, he walks right past me and goes to hug his dog. FML

#4020380
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42925) - you deserved it (7696)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:25am - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I spent my date night babysitting. After waiting three hours later than I was supposed, the mother finally gets home at 11, too late for me to get out and have any fun. Already annoyed, I take the money as she says, "I hope this is enough, I got hungry and spent some of your money." FML

#4020289
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46034) - you deserved it (2630)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:21am - work - by hugs511 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the dentist to have two cavities filled. I hate the dentist. After he'd started drilling, I heard a "clunk" noise followed by an "Oops." My dentist had cut my tooth in half. Now I have to go to surgery to have the tooth extracted. FML

#4020266
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48692) - you deserved it (2466)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:21am - health - by Toothy. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was going to hang out with the girl I like, because she was leaving for the rest of the Summer. She had to cancel to go shopping with her grandma "all day." At 1 o'clock, she came online and told me how much fun she had with this guy I really don't like. She forgot that she lied to me. FML

#4020184
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48650) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:17am - love - by Jake (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend was at my house for a 10-day visit. He told me that we'd never spent so much time together, so he didn't know me well and now, he'd finally met the "real me". He doesn't like it. FML

#4017197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37772) - you deserved it (8917)

On 07/24/2009 at 10:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML

#4014904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33050) - you deserved it (13477)

On 07/24/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by LockedOut (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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