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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was in a shoe store. I picked up a shoe so I could look at it, but when I put it back on the shelf, the whole shelf fell down, making all the shoes fall to the ground. The people behind the counter started clapping. FML

#7090975
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22416) - you deserved it (3416)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:45pm - misc - by shoes (woman) - United States

Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML

#7089085
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31219) - you deserved it (6304)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Shawna (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML

#7088196
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29228) - you deserved it (2551)

On 01/01/2010 at 7:33pm - love - by Singleton (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

Today, is January 1st. Last night, I threw a party. Only 3 people came. Luckily, one of the people who came was the love of my life, I had been hoping to get a midnight kiss from him. Unluckly, he decided to get back with his ex-girlfriend. At my party. They were liplocked almost the whole time. FML

#7087777
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (3874)

On 01/01/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by ScrewedOver (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML

#7086130
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45336) - you deserved it (2456)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:07pm - work - by manksy (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25756) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML

#7083274
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31366) - you deserved it (2298)

On 01/01/2010 at 2:14pm - misc - by johnny121 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML

#7080938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13338) - you deserved it (20514)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35050) - you deserved it (3621)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

#7079223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7494) - you deserved it (38524)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:13am - misc - by NotANaturist (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my 4 year old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her clevage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

#7079219
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (4321)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:12am - kids - by andy - United States (New York)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26632) - you deserved it (2954)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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