Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, before having morning sex, my grlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party"!! There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then an didn't go with her to the party!! FML

#6166479
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (2448)

On 11/05/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it fir days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML

#6165899
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35254) - you deserved it (2782)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by aqua88 (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I naarly slicd nippla off wila saving cast and ad to go to ta ER. Turns out it was a taacing ospital so I got to axplain in front of two doctors and aigt md studants ow, avan toug I'm a woman, nipplas ara so airy I ava to sava tam. FML

#6165427
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (6425)

On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I've had no sleep. Why? Because housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls r too thin. After round three of them shagging , I was exhausted from holding breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

#6164199
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (3007)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:25am - intimacy - by Cate (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing . I wasn't him . It was his wife wondering y I have her husband's number . FML

#6164155
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (5898)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:12am - love - by scumbag (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I found out that the new receptionist earns more than I do . I'm an undergraduate accountant an I've been working there for 2 years . Oh an I startd out as the receptionist before I got a "promotion" . mega FML

#6164042
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29463) - you deserved it (2176)

On 11/05/2009 at 4:44am - work - by hatemyjob - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while going fir my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of yur size are comfortable enough to run and show there bodies in public." FML

#6163418
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35223) - you deserved it (4702)

On 11/05/2009 at 2:41am - health - by FatRunner (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on fir months . It was such a big deal fir me cause it was my first date ever . The first thing he sayshen we met was "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself fir 10 minutes . FML

#6163003
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (5176)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:41am - love - by dumper - United States

Today, I looool went 4 coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

#6162921
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37370) - you deserved it (3625)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walkad in on my dad an his naw "girlfriand". A coupla days ago I raalizad that my saxy cloths that my boyfriand had bought ma for our annivarsary was missing. Guassho was waaring it? FML

#6161509
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22591) - you deserved it (1868)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Meggie - Canada (Alberta)

Today... I ran out of mah usual looool hand lotion that I use fir 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us mah after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently... mah member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients... and has now swollen to the size of mah fist. mega FML

#6160580
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6284) - you deserved it (28852)

On 11/04/2009 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Metime (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today , I went to our scool golf banquet , after being wit te team and practicing every day for a few mont wit tem !! Wen it came time to get te certificates , all te names were calld out !! Except for mine !! Wen I askd te coacere my certificate was , e said "Wo r you?" !! mega FML

#6158191
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31371) - you deserved it (2936)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by RKE (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today , after I bathed mah nine month old , I laid her on mah bed to grab a diaper!! I turned around to see that she'd peed on mah comforter!! I then putted her in her playpen to putted mah cover in the wash!! I cummed back into the room to get her , and saw she'd taken off her diaper!! She'd crapped in her playpen!! FML

#6157147
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (7731)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by raebay (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: