Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47280) - you deserved it (20155)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12483) - you deserved it (60451)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:35am - love - by Aerostar (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37086) - you deserved it (3782)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53605) - you deserved it (4104)
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77534) - you deserved it (5313)
On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest ugliest man at the table looks me over then stares at my chest. He then starts to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39559) - you deserved it (4735)
On 06/15/2009 at 8:32pm - intimacy - by Hotdamnthisismyjam (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34119) - you deserved it (3110)
On 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by skreweduP (woman) - United States
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21922) - you deserved it (35523)
On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my dad decided to clean out my car and "accidentally" threw away my $520 tax refund check. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (5946)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46006) - you deserved it (13147)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States
Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42040) - you deserved it (3880)
On 06/15/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41453) - you deserved it (9337)
On 06/15/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by WetPhone (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41508) - you deserved it (6395)
On 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Thursday 10 April 2014
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