Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36856) - you deserved it (9414)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:55am - love - by thanksbaby (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8286) - you deserved it (46698)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by PulledOver (woman) - United States
Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11689) - you deserved it (30691)
On 06/01/2009 at 12:50am - money - by steph (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37281) - you deserved it (34541)
On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42832) - you deserved it (6034)
On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my grandfather kept on asking me questions about my girlfriend and was obviously proud of the things he remembered about her. The only thing he couldn't remember is that we broke up. I had to talk with him about our 'great relationship' for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (3179)
On 05/31/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by my ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend simply saying "I'm eating a hot dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39379) - you deserved it (12204)
On 05/31/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63753) - you deserved it (10218)
On 05/31/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by fmeplease (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our 1 year anniversary and it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two pack of cigarettes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39919) - you deserved it (9283)
On 05/31/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by sadwife (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55470) - you deserved it (7405)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42841) - you deserved it (7546)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)
Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44109) - you deserved it (10730)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that the closest thing I have to a savings account is the cup on my dresser with coins in it. I counted it, $17.34. That is my savings. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16520) - you deserved it (44166)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:11pm - money - by mooseknuckle (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Friday 7 March 2014
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