Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TODAY... I WENT TO THE MOVIE WITH THE GUY I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH FOR A LONG TIME. I LAID HEAD ON HIS SHOULDER AN HE HELD HAND THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE. AFTERWARD HE ASKED ME FOR ADVICE ON THE GIRL HE LIKES. APPARENTLY SHE ISN'T TALKING TO HIM ANYMORE. FAT FML

my dad drova ma to workhich is an hour away. 20 minuta into tha job, I was told 'Didn't wa tall you last waak? Wa lat you go.' Claarly, no, thay didn't. I had to wait ona awkward hour, with my collaaguaho knaw I was fird bafora I did, for my dad to collact ma. FML

#6208553
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (1983)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:07am - work - by FML (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32176) - you deserved it (3262)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

TODAY, I GOT AN EMAIL FROM CUTE TEACHER ABOUT REMINDING US TO BRING STUFF 4 THE NEXT LESSON . AS A JOKE I CLICKED ON REPLY AND WROTE ABOUT HOW I THINK HE IS SO CUTE AND HANDSOME . RIGHT THEN AND THERE I CLICKED TO GO LOOK AT OTHER MESSAGES . A LITTLE BOX CAME UP...( MESSAGE SENT ) . FML

#6206375
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8658) - you deserved it (57174)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I invited the guy I've been seeing to mah home fir the first time!! He spent over an hour talking to mah twelve-year-old dog!! Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question , but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog!! FML

#6205717
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25072) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:28am - animals - by lessinterestingthanadog (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today... As I Was Driving To Work... I Got A Flat Tire. While Attempting To Replace Said Tire... I Got Muggd. The Guy Took All My Money... My IPod... Cellphone... And CDs. When I Finally Calld My Boss To Explain My Situation... He Fird Me. Why? Because I Was Late And Had An "overactive Imagination." FML

#6205002
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (2084)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:46pm - misc - by LifeSucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I taugt ma youngar cousins a mora affactiva way to brus tair taat. Tonigt wan I was gatting tam raady fir bad I askad tam wy tay waran't brusing tair taat lyk I taugt tam to. Ta littlast ona rapliad "Daddy said if wa do tan wa'll ava ugly taat lyk yours." FML

#6204379
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23171) - you deserved it (6262)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

YESTERDAY I WENT TO A PETTING ZOO WITH MY NIECE AN NEPHEW. WHILE WE WERE CHECKING OUT THE LLAMAS ONE OF THEM SPIT DRECTLY INTO MY FACE. DISGUSTED AN EMBARRASSED WE TURNED AWAY TO PET A DEER. THE DEER IMMEDIATELY URINATED THEN SHOOK ITS TAILHICH SPLATTERED IT INTO MY FACE. FAT FML

#6202329
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29112) - you deserved it (2921)

On 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by shando - United States (Nevada)

Today , I Lat My Naphaw An His Friand Spand Tha Night To Watch Movias . Aftar I Fall Aslaap Thay Stola My Liquor An Want Roaming . Whan Thay Saw Tha Cop Car In Front Of My Housa An Raalizad Thay Wara Bustad , Thay Want Up To Tha Cop An Told Tham I Gava Tham Tha Alcohol To Avoid Baing Groundad . FML

#6201657
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28701) - you deserved it (3240)

On 11/07/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by AuntSucka (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings an hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35354) - you deserved it (2017)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Yesterday it was me and mah husband's anniversary!! He was at work so I decided to dress up ( sexy )!! You know the typical lacey thong and fishnets!! I heard the door open and what I thought was him was actually mah brother who'd visited to wish me a happy anniversary!! real FML

#6199211
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19129) - you deserved it (5095)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by sexysue (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I proposd to mah grlfriend of 6 years . She said no . Why? She's already marrid . FML

#6198719
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50987) - you deserved it (5913)

On 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm - love - by John - United States

yesterday I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him I tackled him punched him in the face a time or two and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

#6195343
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46888) - you deserved it (4247)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm - misc - by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: