Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51670) - you deserved it (5773)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11901) - you deserved it (54221)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58652) - you deserved it (3296)
On 07/21/2009 at 11:19am - health - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40531) - you deserved it (12807)
On 07/21/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Pimp-Daddy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife is divorcing me because she wants to party more with her friends alone. One year ago, I followed her to Norway, where her family lives. I left my friends, family and job opportunities (which were very good) in order to live with her. Now I am shoveling shit on a horse farm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57502) - you deserved it (11264)
On 07/21/2009 at 8:03am - love - by person_r (man) - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62081) - you deserved it (11458)
On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45329) - you deserved it (3011)
On 07/21/2009 at 4:49am - misc - by nottananny (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, whilst cleaning out his desk, my dad "accidentally" threw away my summer homework. That's 100 pages, over a duration of 2 months. School starts in 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50354) - you deserved it (5737)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:34am - work - by homework (man) - India (Delhi)
Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17237) - you deserved it (41912)
On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42740) - you deserved it (27733)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8483) - you deserved it (46416)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Thalassophobic (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81743) - you deserved it (5564)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7671) - you deserved it (103101)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:14am - love - by embarrassed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Tuesday 22 July 2014
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