Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I applied for a passport. I was told the first set of photos I took were unusable because my face, particularly my chin, didn't fit inside the designated area for your face in the picture. My chin did fit in the frame, my double chin however, did not. FML

#5146235
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15398) - you deserved it (39696)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

#5146144
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10189) - you deserved it (46075)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:21am - animals - by GoodDog (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

#5145727
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9018) - you deserved it (53193)

On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13371) - you deserved it (48754)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML

#5144456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37125) - you deserved it (4201)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:57am - love - by clingmaster (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML

#5141524
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18980) - you deserved it (51364)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I decided to go get my hair cut because it was getting a bit long. I told the lady that I wanted it way short and she replied "Why? You will look like a guy sweetie." I am a guy. FML

#5141424
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (6407)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by theboywithlonghair (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

#5141393
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35959) - you deserved it (5269)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML

#5141391
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37998) - you deserved it (5038)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML

#5141250
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42043) - you deserved it (4861)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by comet5002 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my ex bought a digital camera, an iPod, and a large flat-screen TV, all purchased with the alimony I'm paying him. FML

#5141204
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (7050)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Goodie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

#5141193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19951) - you deserved it (3376)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - intimacy - by Magnus_the_Red (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML

#5138751
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45649) - you deserved it (17717)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by whyme27 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: