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Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

#11322556
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (31069)

On 06/20/2010 at 12:11am - health - by LoveYouTooMa (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a close friend pointed out to me how ironic it is that I make the Sim version of myself work out to lose weight, while I sit on my fat ass playing video games. FML

#11318182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10758) - you deserved it (51683)

On 06/19/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Grace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, is the first weekend I have off this summer. Instead of letting me see my friends, my dad printed out a practice SAT exam. I've already taken the SAT. He just "doesn't want me to get rusty". FML

#11312975
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35014) - you deserved it (3458)

On 06/19/2010 at 2:53pm - misc - by Classicmen - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML

#11310878
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12589) - you deserved it (34570)

On 06/19/2010 at 12:27pm - animals - by kasai_x0x (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my kids thought it would be funny to put pictures of naked men and women as people's ID on my phone. They won't tell me how to change it back. FML

#11305876
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (29608)

On 06/19/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Momma - Sent from mobile version

Today, while tuning my bass guitar, I noticed a very strange screeching sound. I leaned over to look behind the neck. The biggest string snapped off and cut the side of my face. FML

#11295929
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (4570)

On 06/18/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by jooshuarr - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

#11283596
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14464) - you deserved it (37380)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by gimmeabreak0_o (man) - United States (California)

Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML

#11283515
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (11470)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:13am - work - by Stevo - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12734) - you deserved it (55089)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML

#11271577
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36498) - you deserved it (15539)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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