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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

#2949089
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9825) - you deserved it (31752)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML

#2940444
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20608) - you deserved it (46381)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

#2940204
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55841) - you deserved it (5330)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by enderw (man) - United States

Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML

#2938815
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39924) - you deserved it (25190)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 mins. I stayed in there even though I finished shitting after 5 mins, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

#2937594
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (3900)

On 06/16/2009 at 10:59am - work - by yuen (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45094) - you deserved it (3395)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

#2935549
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37588) - you deserved it (26376)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter finally walked down the aisle with a man she loves very much. While I was escorting her, I managed to trip and fall down revealing what I've been trying to hide all of this time: my shiny gleaming bald head that showed when my wig fell off. FML

#2935439
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43587) - you deserved it (10714)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:49am - misc - by Unlucky (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my daughter asked me if we can make sticker art. Of course I said it was ok so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML

#2935296
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33702) - you deserved it (5199)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:35am - kids - by inboxbuddies (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

#2934855
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36138) - you deserved it (4161)

On 06/16/2009 at 5:13am - love - by flowerfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

#2933331
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46352) - you deserved it (4242)

On 06/16/2009 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65314) - you deserved it (4228)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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