Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I weighed myself. When I was fifteen, my mom yelled at me, saying that I was going to end up being 200 pounds by the time I was forty. Well, mom, you're wrong. At this rate I'll be 200 pounds by the time I'm twenty. FML

#7521892
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11546) - you deserved it (35460)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:47pm - health - by notaguidette (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

#7521211
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3980) - you deserved it (52143)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rainydays79 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told a girl she was beautiful on the inside and out. She still didn't sleep with me. FML

#7520375
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7605) - you deserved it (68816)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by MackeyBoy (man) - United Kingdom

lexie206's comment : don't expect girls to sleep with you just cause you give them a compliment, YDI

See all the comments →

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

#7520027
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20549) - you deserved it (2372)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Moondoggie_ggk69 (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

#7518795
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (5992)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

#7518745
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24205) - you deserved it (3164)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the boy I've liked for the past 8 years asked me out and then dumped me when he realized that I was taller than he was. FML

#7518203
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (3112)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML

#7517323
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (2292)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:21am - intimacy - by T.C (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

#7516892
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10534) - you deserved it (35409)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:27am - love - by SINGLE (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML

#7516838
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8937) - you deserved it (32513)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by fisherman - United States (Florida)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

#7516271
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (7564)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:38am - love - by weirdlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

#7515979
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9813) - you deserved it (26984)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - intimacy - by BlackPolarbear - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (4161)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: