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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML

#11889011
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you deserved it (3742)

On 07/15/2010 at 12:12am - love - by sunkissedberries - United States

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

#11886380
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17319) - you deserved it (40571)

On 07/14/2010 at 10:37pm - love - by readytomingle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

#11875155
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16930) - you deserved it (26831)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:47pm - misc - by rofld (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

#11873804
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (20525)

On 07/14/2010 at 11:17am - intimacy - by safetyfirst (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML

#11867771
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8559) - you deserved it (64798)

On 07/14/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by Eyefreshener (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML

#11867757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33873) - you deserved it (5957)

On 07/14/2010 at 2:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

#11866175
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (3456)

On 07/14/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Depressed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

#11865183
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37689) - you deserved it (9886)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

#11864546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15781) - you deserved it (31291)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by No.Life. - United States (Vermont)

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

#11861261
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12598) - you deserved it (40913)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm - work - by magnolia (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26460) - you deserved it (43543)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54399) - you deserved it (4513)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21046) - you deserved it (47364)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)



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