Today, I was taking the bus back to my university campus, having left work early feeling sick. While on the bus I started retching. I managed to hold it in for a while, but as I stood up to get off the bus, I started puking through my mouth and nose. This was in front of twenty other passengers. FML

by pukathlon / 12/10/2010 at 12:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

by RevolutionLove / 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm / United States / Intimacy

Hummbinger's comment : Don't you have to agree to have nurses in training observe you? If not, they're all mature adults and -should- be professional about it.

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Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 8:05am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML

by iamnotuseless / 12/10/2010 at 6:37am / Health

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML

by augh / 12/10/2010 at 3:24am / Miscellaneous

Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML

by eyeleanify / 12/10/2010 at 3:12am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I admitted to my girlfriend that I'd kissed another girl five days before we got together. She told me, "That's OK, I slept with my boss last week." FML

by rob / 12/10/2010 at 2:29am / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML

by Mak10 / 12/10/2010 at 1:53am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML

by fmlguy / 12/09/2010 at 10:19pm / Money

Today, after playing on the same basketball team for eight years with the same coach, he kicked me off the team to make room for my younger brother, who I taught to play basketball in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 9:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm / United States / Health