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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML

#6650131
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41563) - you deserved it (4546)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to pick up my paycheck at the convenience store I work at. While there, two frat boys came in and bought seventeen 30 packs of beer. That comes to about $300. They spent more at the store in one day than I get paid in two weeks. FML

#6649711
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26209) - you deserved it (3902)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by ditzen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after complaining to the administration about my roommate, I finally got switched. As I went into the room to meet my new roommate, I found out he was my old roommate's brother. They are exactly the same, and I'm not allowed to switch again. FML

#6649432
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31355) - you deserved it (2992)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by mylifesuckssomuch3214 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out from my mom that the sweet smelling shampoo she bought recently belongs to Tammi. I've been using it for a week now. The chocolate drops I ate yesterday are also hers. Tammi is our pet Chihuahua. FML

#6648312
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20482) - you deserved it (8154)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by cookiecrust (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML

#6648301
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26392) - you deserved it (3597)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by Fluory (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the weekly coffee talks my husband was having with his ex-girlfriend stopped involving coffee about 2 years ago. FML

#6647027
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (18790)

On 12/07/2009 at 5:33am - love - by Jane (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

silencerider151's comment : It took you how many years to realize that private meetings between him and his ex could be a problem?

See all the comments →

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (3541)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

#6646444
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28554) - you deserved it (3058)

On 12/07/2009 at 3:54am - animals - by SeeMeInTheDark (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML

#6645484
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37417) - you deserved it (2588)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Twiddle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

#6645209
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9433) - you deserved it (43606)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by smart phone mms - United States

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11040) - you deserved it (37474)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

#6644248
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9255) - you deserved it (38722)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

#6643821
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23130) - you deserved it (6179)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:07am - kids - by proudparent (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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