Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

#11824802
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16303) - you deserved it (48678)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:52am - health - by fat - United States

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

#11822589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (8291)

On 07/12/2010 at 1:38am - animals - by LexiBoBexi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

#11821332
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41743) - you deserved it (3133)

On 07/12/2010 at 12:31am - health - by Sarah220 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35522) - you deserved it (10352)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after being at summer camp for two weeks, my parents never showed up to take me home. A counselor had to drive me. FML

#11815113
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43991) - you deserved it (2977)

On 07/11/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Nancy - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

#11811158
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (5235)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

#11808834
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37456) - you deserved it (3338)

On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37227) - you deserved it (4664)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

#11804292
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38484) - you deserved it (3574)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Cheyenne - United States (Washington)

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

#11803226
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18466) - you deserved it (29134)

On 07/11/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I made my mom a mix CD for her car. It took me ages to find just the right songs that would be perfect for her. When I played it for her in the car, she took it out and threw it out of the window. FML

#11798606
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34834) - you deserved it (5200)

On 07/10/2010 at 9:00pm - misc - by lovelikewoe (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML

#11798566
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31696) - you deserved it (8513)

On 07/10/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by hello - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML

#11794777
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48879) - you deserved it (4317)

On 07/10/2010 at 4:05pm - love - by thanksalot - United States



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