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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37225) - you deserved it (4664)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

#11804292
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38483) - you deserved it (3574)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Cheyenne - United States (Washington)

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

#11803226
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18465) - you deserved it (29130)

On 07/11/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I made my mom a mix CD for her car. It took me ages to find just the right songs that would be perfect for her. When I played it for her in the car, she took it out and threw it out of the window. FML

#11798606
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34830) - you deserved it (5200)

On 07/10/2010 at 9:00pm - misc - by lovelikewoe (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML

#11798566
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31686) - you deserved it (8508)

On 07/10/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by hello - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML

#11794777
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48881) - you deserved it (4317)

On 07/10/2010 at 4:05pm - love - by thanksalot - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML

#11790299
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (3061)

On 07/10/2010 at 8:03am - money - by Ecce (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64655) - you deserved it (8738)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML

#11720249
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46468) - you deserved it (7764)

On 07/07/2010 at 9:17am - love - by braceface (man) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML

#11718705
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40919) - you deserved it (3961)

On 07/07/2010 at 5:43am - misc - by 42 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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