Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 2:12am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

by ohmylordy / 10/29/2010 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and I. It started with, "I love you", and ended with, "You and your brother were mistakes." FML

by yeaokay / 10/29/2010 at 1:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

by Taylor parsons / 10/29/2010 at 12:48am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML

by lovegotmehung / 10/29/2010 at 12:48am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, a cute girl came up to me with her boyfriend and said, "If you end up looking like him, it's over." FML

by nonexistant / 10/29/2010 at 12:33am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2010 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my mom was on my Facebook and saw a chick leave a nasty comment on my status. My mom commented back something awful and really bitchy. My mom still fights my fights for me. I'm 20. FML

by mommysgirlapparently / 10/28/2010 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML

by MissTrix / 10/28/2010 at 8:58pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Geek

Emrysa's comment : Your best friend sounds awesome, tell him.

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Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML

by Fatality / 10/28/2010 at 12:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I overheard a conversation between a coworker and a new employee. The new girl was trying to get familiar with people's names, and she asked my coworker, "Which one is Heather?" He answered, "The annoying one." She said, "Oh, that's Heather." I'm Heather. FML

by kaz89 / 10/28/2010 at 10:19am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

by scratchpost / 10/28/2010 at 8:07am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

by djoe / 10/28/2010 at 8:00am / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy