Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

#11954418
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36935) - you deserved it (4229)

On 07/18/2010 at 1:02am - work - by Flyboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend told me I lost weight. I was happy because I've worked hard to shed off those pounds. I asked her what changes were evident, she told me that I now have a neck. FML

#11953086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29331) - you deserved it (9672)

On 07/18/2010 at 12:02am - health - by lalala (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, while working at the bar, I was having a flawless night. Every pour was perfect, every shot expertly measured. I saw my manager for the first time that night, turned to greet him, and knocked over a tray of 30 or so glasses. Two remained unbroken. FML

#11945611
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35958) - you deserved it (5156)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:51pm - work - by barman - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

#11945278
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41135) - you deserved it (3842)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16672) - you deserved it (59063)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

#11943305
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16316) - you deserved it (56781)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:23pm - misc - by knighton16 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

#11940720
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (7827)

On 07/17/2010 at 10:54am - misc - by killer (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (45660)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML

#11935360
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31132) - you deserved it (5493)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:00am - animals - by VtecKickIn (man) - United States

Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML

#11927489
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39063) - you deserved it (3222)

On 07/16/2010 at 7:48pm - work - by MSURebel70 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML

#11927382
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36875) - you deserved it (2584)

On 07/16/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

#11923673
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36589) - you deserved it (17883)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

#11923492
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34824) - you deserved it (6074)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:38pm - misc - by apple (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: