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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

#7360407
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7170) - you deserved it (35136)

On 01/15/2010 at 4:27pm - misc - by stephiexbabexx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. A couple of cute girls started talking to me, telling me how much they liked my dreads. Seeing this, my mother stepped up next to me, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "This here is my little baby, treat him nicely!" Thanks, Mom. FML

#7358643
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27325) - you deserved it (3910)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:37pm - misc - by Dreadge (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, I was teaching a class and my student pointed out that I used the wrong "your" while writing on the board. FML

#7357250
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5885) - you deserved it (43475)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:39pm - work - by englishfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

#7356848
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5626) - you deserved it (25880)

On 01/15/2010 at 11:50am - work - by Sonic (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my anxiety disorder has escalated to where I now scratch and pick at my face while asleep. Now I get to sleep with oven mitts taped to my hands. FML

#7354954
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27815) - you deserved it (2639)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my boyfriends' mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

#7354557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (5082)

On 01/15/2010 at 6:37am - love - by Jumja (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML

#7353752
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35578) - you deserved it (2670)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:49am - love - by TanjinaRubbaiyat (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

#7353628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (3627)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

#7353412
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26151) - you deserved it (5415)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:02am - love - by Rin (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42164) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

meirasanya's comment : Report him to the police! Stealing from you is illegal enough, but downloading child porn as well! He won't need to worry about bills from jail. It's also safer for children if he's locked away.

See all the comments →

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

#7353049
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28066) - you deserved it (3246)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Goobie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

#7351489
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21104) - you deserved it (7802)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:25am - love - by beriles (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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