Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML

#9074868
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10008) - you deserved it (22533)

On 03/14/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by teachingsucks (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

#9070657
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11384) - you deserved it (35792)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:56am - love - by allennn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26243) - you deserved it (10827)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I fell in a river with a £700 camera, a £200 lens, and an iPhone while trying to rescue a 50 pence ball for my dog. FML

#9069582
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15416) - you deserved it (28882)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:36am - money - by Rick (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

#9069427
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (4301)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

#9068483
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12125) - you deserved it (21532)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:50am - misc - by Hatty (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML

#9068336
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (12483)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:21am - misc - by Vegetarian (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML

#9068161
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7388) - you deserved it (19762)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

#9067691
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36188) - you deserved it (6238)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23919) - you deserved it (9624)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML

#9065409
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26992) - you deserved it (4494)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:00am - love - by crapcrapcrap (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML

#9064267
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18620) - you deserved it (2114)

On 03/14/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by kkbb - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

#9063709
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19715) - you deserved it (5558)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)



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