Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML

#13653582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28246) - you deserved it (5283)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

#13653489
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27567) - you deserved it (5805)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by demaris (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML

#13652209
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36340) - you deserved it (6053)

On 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm - health - by DeepTaccer (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML

#13651777
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37704) - you deserved it (5672)

On 10/30/2010 at 4:42pm - kids - by idiot - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

#13650212
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23554) - you deserved it (12208)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend and I dressed up as dice for Halloween. The rest of the night consisted of us, harassed by drunks asking, 'Can we roll you around?' and constantly being shaken. FML

#13648251
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11389) - you deserved it (31422)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (8608)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

#13646131
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49603) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:33am - love - by Stephie2009 - United States

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

#13645625
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (40952)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:41am - love - by Samantha - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

#13645205
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42919) - you deserved it (11680)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML

#13645148
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36504) - you deserved it (4559)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by miss cranky pants - United States (California)

Today, everyone commented on how realistic my "fat suit" was. I didn't dress up for Halloween. FML

#13645035
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31366) - you deserved it (7944)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML

#13645028
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26789) - you deserved it (9838)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:52am - misc - by snoozlagist (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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