by loser / 05/09/2011 at 5:12pm / United States (New York) / Money
ZingDooper's comment : why would you want to keep it?
by starcatch777 / 05/09/2011 at 4:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML
by 19apollo91 / 05/09/2011 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Work
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
by Username / 05/09/2011 at 1:23pm / China / Health
by wtfseriously / 05/09/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
GrooveSponge's comment : I'm assuming you didn't win the argument.
by moron / 05/09/2011 at 1:15pm / United Kingdom / Health
by Nelson / 05/09/2011 at 11:05am / Sweden / Miscellaneous
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
by scarlet / 05/09/2011 at 11:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
by Username / 05/09/2011 at 3:38am / Transportation
by theyarefarapart / 05/09/2011 at 3:05am / Miscellaneous
by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy
Fish_999's comment : haha u enjoyed it really!
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2011 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML
by Just_do_it_17 / 05/09/2011 at 12:03am / United States / Love
- Today, I was told I'd need thousand-pound surgery to correct my spinal issue. Tomorrow, my medical… Today I came out to my family as a lesbian. A few days ago, my brother came out as bisexual and my… Today, someone left a can of scentless bugspray next to the stove, I greased a cake pan with it and…