Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56773) - you deserved it (20362)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by fmlsrsly (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64633) - you deserved it (4214)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (124077) - you deserved it (9394)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30856) - you deserved it (65563)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58346) - you deserved it (7786)
On 03/25/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by face (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my watch broke so I casually mentioned to my dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around for a while". It was the watch I gave him for Father's Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64458) - you deserved it (3822)
On 03/25/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by regiftee (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16894) - you deserved it (62260)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, a kid I coach on a regular basis was talking to me about what I did outside of work. After we were done with the conversation, she told me with a straight face that I need to get a life and get a boyfriend. She's 10. And she's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47066) - you deserved it (8654)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by gymnasticscoach (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I completed my 6 month training program for a track competition this weekend. I went to the park to run anyways because I needed some air after my boyfriend broke up with me. After one lap, my neighbor's 130 lb dog ran across the soccer field and jumped on me to say hi. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73546) - you deserved it (2759)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by fmrunning (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84463) - you deserved it (20143)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12499) - you deserved it (76686)
On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56627) - you deserved it (11979)
On 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by sarah_sad (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77125) - you deserved it (7550)
On 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm - work - by mrWrong (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
