Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (30072)
On 04/11/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10498) - you deserved it (80563)
On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78237) - you deserved it (4127)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (46702)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51124) - you deserved it (3386)
On 04/11/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59494) - you deserved it (15534)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, one of our regular customers came in and was telling me he bought an assault rifle. I told him not to go off his meds and shoot up the store, as a joke. Later, my manager told me that the guy is on antidepressants and was discharged from the military for being "mentally unfit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34818) - you deserved it (12953)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:07am - health - by masterdisaster (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my friend and I were driving to Florida from Michigan. While going through Ohio my car hydroplaned over a puddle on the highway. I ended up hitting the median and my car got wrecked. Not only am I stuck in Ohio with a car that wont work, I got a ticket for $300 for hitting Ohio property. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36280) - you deserved it (5326)
On 04/10/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by emie0209 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I finally decided to get a dog. I have always been wanting to get one ever since I was a child. I bought a $1,400 Golden Retriever. I went out for lunch a few hours later with a friend, so I left my dog in the backyard. I came back home to a broken fence and no dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19418) - you deserved it (44873)
On 04/10/2009 at 11:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46887) - you deserved it (2837)
On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36337) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/10/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by bastardddd (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65975) - you deserved it (2557)
On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I finally bought the toy my two year old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I give him the present, and he starts playing with the bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34928) - you deserved it (8258)
On 04/10/2009 at 8:37pm - kids - by Bob (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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