Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
by Meg / 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend of two years. He asked me to turn off my webcam. I asked why, and he said to just trust him. Turns out it was because he didn't want to see my face as he broke up with me. FML
by emily / 07/15/2011 at 6:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
CompettiveCheer's comment : Douche. Bag.
by Username / 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States / Health
GigaB's comment : don't sleep under a cactus?
by kacysospacyy / 07/15/2011 at 2:23pm / United States (California) / Animals
GigaPudding's comment : But, if you ask me, it's not weird if the 15 year old is not home - but it sure is strange if the dog isn't!
by evilwater / 07/15/2011 at 1:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by so much for a good day / 07/15/2011 at 1:14pm / United States / Health
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek
by panos016 / 07/15/2011 at 9:51am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by TabbiNicole / 07/15/2011 at 7:38am / United States / Work
by SCREWED / 07/15/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by brsoxgirl / 07/15/2011 at 1:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by krissy8799 / 07/15/2011 at 12:53am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is… Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes.… Today, my best friend thought the best time to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend was while…
- Today, I was travelling in a car. As I was discreetly picking my nose, we drove over a speed bump.… Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…