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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was taking medicine for my sinus problems and trying to write an essay. I got most of the way done, then unexpectedly fell asleep on my keyboard. When I woke up, my face was wet. I drowned my laptop in my drool. FML

#13777166
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23653) - you deserved it (6129)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:17pm - work - by drooooooool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

#13777099
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10097) - you deserved it (35334)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by johnboy - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was called 15 times by a "good redneck boy" that my Mom is trying to set me up with. He has called me at least 5 times a day for the past week. My Mom is still encouraging him to call. I had to unplug the phone because I feel stalked in my own dorm. FML

#13776562
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (2693)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by snitcheyes (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML

#13775223
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25973) - you deserved it (4233)

On 11/09/2010 at 7:02am - misc - by botheredgf (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, at work, after a visit to the bathroom, the lock broke in my hand and the door was jammed. I called the janitor on my cellphone and told him about the situation. He told me to fill out a complaint and leave it in his post box. He then hung up. FML

#13775057
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (2649)

On 11/09/2010 at 6:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

#13774933
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30120) - you deserved it (5864)

On 11/09/2010 at 6:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - India

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

#13774014
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38790) - you deserved it (3828)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML

#13773791
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (5189)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54466) - you deserved it (10825)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

odexy's comment : Fuck HIS life for having such an awful sister. You should accept what he wants to be, he shouldn't feel uncomfortable with his own gender/body just because you're afraid your children are going to be related to someone 'weird.' This, of course is assuming you mean your brother wants a sex change. There's nothing wrong with what your brother wants to do, and unlike what #3 says, your children won't be fucked up because of it. No one will. If they're teased about this at school then have those children reported to the schools principle, because they clearly need a lesson in social skills.

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Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML

#13771882
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7674) - you deserved it (82980)

On 11/08/2010 at 11:18pm - love - by ashbox233 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

#13771276
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (2607)

On 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm - money - by Jen - Australia

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

#13770099
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36333) - you deserved it (4959)

On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter got engaged. Her fiancé is not only 25 years older than her, but was her teacher in middle school. FML

#13768477
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50035) - you deserved it (4372)

On 11/08/2010 at 7:38pm - kids - by - (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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