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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML

#13754576
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10525) - you deserved it (22289)

On 11/07/2010 at 5:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

#13754540
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23200) - you deserved it (6319)

On 11/07/2010 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

#13754319
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33048) - you deserved it (3380)

On 11/07/2010 at 4:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family went to a football game. It was a little cold, but then it started to rain. I wasn't dressed for rain and I'd left my umbrella in the car. My dad wouldn't let us leave our seats for the whole game. FML

#13754254
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22012) - you deserved it (5021)

On 11/07/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by kaitlintaylor (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my manager informed me that I will not be completing my job training because I'll be transferring to a different store, and if they want me to work there, that's their problem. Today, I also found out that the new store will not accept me as a transfer unless I've already been trained. FML

#13753819
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25612) - you deserved it (2287)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:34pm - work - by Problem - United States (California)

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (4435)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13749497
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27849) - you deserved it (5574)

On 11/07/2010 at 6:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

#13746005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34262) - you deserved it (2672)

On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year old man covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML

#13742971
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27701) - you deserved it (2965)

On 11/06/2010 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML

#13742923
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (3906)

On 11/06/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent 6 hours unloading boxes into my new apartment. After unloading the entire truck and making trips up and down two flights of stairs, I heard a knock on the door. Apparently the landlord gave me the key to the WRONG apartment. Mine is downstairs. FML

#13742493
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28834) - you deserved it (2791)

On 11/06/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

#13741680
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23000) - you deserved it (25585)

On 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that a street performer makes more money than I do. I have a full time job at the bank. FML

#13740826
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (3846)

On 11/06/2010 at 5:08pm - money - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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