Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I was tired of his childishness and anger, so he decided to send me 540 random text messages of scrambled letters in order to mess up my phone as well, as make me pay 20 cents for each message. FML

#7191706
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25838) - you deserved it (5072)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:01am - love - by DeadBroke (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63174) - you deserved it (3145)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

#7188892
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6250) - you deserved it (25011)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:58pm - misc - by mindlost (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

#7185908
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35660) - you deserved it (2967)

On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

#7183279
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (4556)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:28pm - health - by moudly (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML

#7183146
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32540) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17896) - you deserved it (23676)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my dad spent most of the $500 I earned from mowing lawns on an Xbox 360 for himself. He was the one who encouraged me to put the money in the bank for college and to learn responsibility. I'm 14 years old. He's 37. FML

#7181170
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (2500)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:19pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

#7181113
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9701) - you deserved it (48911)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by pinky (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

#7180420
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11438) - you deserved it (26819)

On 01/06/2010 at 11:44am - work - by noluckwhatsoever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47897) - you deserved it (2290)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

me5's comment : The state of ilinois never lies!! Go back to your grave!

See all the comments →

Today, it was snowing really badly, so my boss said that everyone who drove to work could leave. But because I got the bus in, she said that I should stay and do a full day. By the time she eventually decided it was bad enough for me to leave, the buses were cancelled. FML

#7178930
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33762) - you deserved it (2015)

On 01/06/2010 at 8:42am - work - by Snowzies (woman) - United Kingdom



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: