Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt weird, like I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45792) - you deserved it (5317)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by Lena (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after finishing a huge French essay, I realized my printer wasn't working. So, I emailed it to a guy in my class to print and then give to me. When I get to French, he said he had already turned his in early and never got my email. It turned out he used mine. I got an F on the essay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55355) - you deserved it (12959)
On 03/26/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by lauren555 - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137193) - you deserved it (24578)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101079) - you deserved it (6480)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm - love - by bride (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was entered into an online contest where they announce your name on the radio and if you call in within an hour they pay your bills for you. I'm unemployed, so I got really excited when they announced my name. My call wouldn't go through - I hadn't paid my phone bill and the line was disconnected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57430) - you deserved it (20696)
On 03/26/2009 at 8:24pm - money - by Broke (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89498) - you deserved it (3800)
On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend in the hallway of our school, and once we got to his class, I leaned in for a kiss. Surprising me, he leaned away, and I asked what was wrong. He told me he's glad we're going out, but just doesn't want anyone to know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53025) - you deserved it (3326)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by denied - United States (Delaware)
Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38991) - you deserved it (19396)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:39pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then proceded to joke about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12426) - you deserved it (83095)
On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I bought my girlfriend two tickets to a Broadway show that was coming through town she really wanted to see. I couldn't attend with her due to work so she said she would take her mom. I found out later she took her ex. Now they're back together, and I paid for the date that made it happen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (132050) - you deserved it (15438)
On 03/26/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by Voice29 (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83347) - you deserved it (6467)
On 03/26/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by ThanksMom (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72694) - you deserved it (3547)
On 03/26/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by sweet (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11730) - you deserved it (56759)
On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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↑ dk2008's comment : What did he say? "I was trying to think of something to put in your mouth to stop the snoring, and all I could think of was my penis."
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