Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML

#11310878
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12126) - you deserved it (33764)

On 06/19/2010 at 12:27pm - animals - by kasai_x0x (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my kids thought it would be funny to put pictures of naked men and women as people's ID on my phone. They won't tell me how to change it back. FML

#11305876
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (29112)

On 06/19/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Momma - Sent from mobile version

Today, while tuning my bass guitar, I noticed a very strange screeching sound. I leaned over to look behind the neck. The biggest string snapped off and cut the side of my face. FML

#11295929
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35034) - you deserved it (4490)

On 06/18/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by jooshuarr - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

#11283596
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14024) - you deserved it (36638)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by gimmeabreak0_o (man) - United States (California)

Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML

#11283515
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37927) - you deserved it (11280)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:13am - work - by Stevo - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12358) - you deserved it (54149)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML

#11271577
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35607) - you deserved it (15353)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

#11271571
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30720) - you deserved it (3366)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - animals - by MCRxforever - United States (Missouri)

Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML

#11264339
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35976) - you deserved it (4671)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by katiebabby - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that we have six skunks under my shed. While I was mowing the lawn, they all came out and sprayed me. FML

#11264233
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37895) - you deserved it (3867)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by pritch44 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later his twitter account said otherwise. FML

#11261528
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33947) - you deserved it (4115)

On 06/17/2010 at 8:42am - love - by hopelesss88 - Australia (Queensland)



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