Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML
by Liz / 06/09/2011 at 12:21am / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
nananabatmannnn's comment : Prepared to act offended? That's why no one likes you. Playing hard to get is for middle schoolers. And wear sunscreen unless you want to look like leather chaps by the time you're thirty.
by grant b / 06/09/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Work
visiON123's comment : Isn't that's how everyone is paid in Texas?
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
abceasyas123abc's comment : All for one and one for all..?!
Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML
by DrugDeal / 06/08/2011 at 9:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in Holland, I lost the bag with my passport, debit and credit cards, license, and camera. I froze my accounts and filled out the paperwork for a new passport. My bag was found the second time I went to the police, with everything in it. Now my accounts are frozen for the 3 weeks I'm here. FML
by misc / 06/08/2011 at 1:52pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Holidays
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
by anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 12:10pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by cheersdaddy / 06/08/2011 at 10:51am / United Kingdom (Midlothian) / Miscellaneous
by iloveyoutoomom / 06/08/2011 at 9:03am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Work
Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 7:22am / France / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML
by kimboslice106 / 06/08/2011 at 1:21am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Money