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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (35687)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML

#11511687
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29892) - you deserved it (4085)

On 06/28/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by Kim422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

#11497939
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35236) - you deserved it (9361)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:54pm - work - by Matt (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

#11497127
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38448) - you deserved it (3326)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by ac13 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a party. No one there was under 60. I'm 16 and it was the only party I've been to all year. FML

#11492155
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (7494)

On 06/27/2010 at 6:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

#11490873
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (3760)

On 06/27/2010 at 3:43am - work - by Daniel - United States

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

#11486568
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (9747)

On 06/27/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Gary - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

#11472600
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32176) - you deserved it (8553)

On 06/26/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by ouch - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML

#11471994
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7406) - you deserved it (60029)

On 06/26/2010 at 9:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Tanzania United Republic of (Dar es Salaam)

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML

#11470870
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57033) - you deserved it (10449)

On 06/26/2010 at 6:31am - health - by the_pheasant66 - Ireland (Dublin)

Babushka_Homyak's comment : What the fuck is wrong with your sister?

See all the comments →

Today, I bought tickets for my friends and me to go to a concert. While I was in the shower, they ditched me and took my girlfriend. FML

#11463310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40143) - you deserved it (4115)

On 06/25/2010 at 11:19pm - misc - by anyomous - United States (California)

Today, I tried giving myself a bikini wax for the first time, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do it right. Now I'm laying on my couch with a wet rag and ice inbetween my legs. FML

#11463238
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (18731)

On 06/25/2010 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by HaleyDrew08 - United States



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