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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

#8916810
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11620) - you deserved it (31694)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:14am - love - by xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother-in-law grounded me because I went to the store in the "dangerous" rain. My husband says that if I don't obey then we won't work out. FML

#8916783
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (4590)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I started my spring break. My college is letting the students stay in the dorms for break, so I figured that staying here would mean getting more sleep than going home. Not so much. The fire alarm has been going off every 20 mins since 7:30am because they're "fixing" it. FML

#8916498
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (3272)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by sleepy2010 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

#8916376
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (2672)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned that you don't put your diamond earrings on over your bathroom sink. FML

#8915747
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9186) - you deserved it (38807)

On 03/08/2010 at 8:19am - misc - by what434 - United States

Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML

#8915112
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8355) - you deserved it (33458)

On 03/08/2010 at 7:08am - money - by prian (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

#8914143
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7338) - you deserved it (47574)

On 03/08/2010 at 4:37am - misc - by dream_girl_3 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was supposed to talk to my girlfriend's mom to ask permission to date her daughter but I chickened out. We've been together for almost a year, but have not been on a real date because I am too damn scared of her family. FML

#8913654
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8782) - you deserved it (40981)

On 03/08/2010 at 3:33am - love - by imafrickenidiot - Sent from mobile version

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

#8911500
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (3790)

On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML

#8910631
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (5848)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Ah - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (2215)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML

#8909849
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35643) - you deserved it (3218)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:14am - love - by smashleighfig - Sent from mobile version



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