Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

#5919547
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (22474)

On 10/20/2009 at 8:44pm - kids - by Raiders4ever (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

#5916110
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11252) - you deserved it (31260)

On 10/20/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by FailedEngineer (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

#5914745
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12313) - you deserved it (73705)

On 10/20/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by jaxattax (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss was angry at me because I had filed a complaint about him refusing to change our phone service to something more reliable. Later, a customer called him and said I had hung up on him. I got fired. I didn't hang up on the customer, the phone service just dropped the call. FML

#5914155
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36073) - you deserved it (2287)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:35pm - work - by ShayanFCB (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML

#5913755
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (4046)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I microwaved a cup of soup. While walking back to my desk to eat and do homework, I noticed a message that said, "WARNING: Hold cup by sides, as lid may not be secure." At that exact moment, the lid that I was holding fell off and the soup drenched my Nintendo DS, and printer. FML

#5913009
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10184) - you deserved it (36313)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Omi (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in front of a bunch of people on my college campus, my mom grabbed my hand and lead me across the street. I'm 20. FML

#5912690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32093) - you deserved it (4174)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by Watchyourstep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

#5912025
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6851) - you deserved it (147831)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

#5911952
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52773) - you deserved it (2378)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

#5911191
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34450) - you deserved it (6560)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

#5910203
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42356) - you deserved it (5507)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my 10 year old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including an £600 guitar. FML

#5910147
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (2481)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:46am - kids - by NikkiiFireStarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told my girlfriend of eight months that if she didn't start taking my band's music seriously, we couldn't see each other anymore. She said fine, and I hugged her, but then she stood up and said 'I hope we can still be friends,' and walked out the door. FML

#5909113
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8758) - you deserved it (63954)

On 10/20/2009 at 2:51am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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