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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML

#6441819
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34637) - you deserved it (3027)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:57am - love - by whatthewhat? - United States

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

#6441579
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11962) - you deserved it (23452)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States

Today, my roommate of seven weeks decided to kick me out. He blames me for the stains on his expensive white leather couch, even after a prof cleaner determined it was red wine. I don't drink red wine. He does. FML

#6441828
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26969) - you deserved it (1729)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML

#6441814
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you deserved it (6320)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:23am - intimacy - by sexyconvo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29008) - you deserved it (1833)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML

#6441496
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23652) - you deserved it (5992)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

#6440907
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (23697)

On 11/24/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by md - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was fired by one of my bosses for doing something the other boss told me to do. I work for a family company. Turns out my bosses are going through a divorce and will do anything to prove the other wrong. FML

#6440227
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31806) - you deserved it (1569)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by Anon (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

#6439665
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11647) - you deserved it (36238)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by xkellybabyyx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML

#6439619
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25372) - you deserved it (13440)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML

#6439470
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25965) - you deserved it (1741)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by bummer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70168) - you deserved it (12067)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

#6438315
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41686) - you deserved it (2262)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States



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