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Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

#13787466
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52607) - you deserved it (19027)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, my mother keyed my car because I wouldn't invite her into my home and get her a cup of tea, so she could continue screaming that she was going to kill me while I tried to feed my 4 month old daughter. The last time I got her a cup of tea she threw it in my face. FML

Today, I was excited to hear that I received three of my grad school recommendations in the mail from a very busy professor. They need to be submitted sealed, and of course, my nosy mom decided to open them. FML

#13785439
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36267) - you deserved it (2567)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by dcsunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was writing my narrative essay for my English class. When I turned it in, I was really proud of what I thought I wrote. Evidently for some people listening to music while writing essays is a bad thing. My essay was filled with little bits of ZZ Top lyrics. FML

#13784109
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7740) - you deserved it (32969)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00pm - work - by hwscrewed - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't wear deodorant and has horrible dandruff, decided to shower for the first time in nearly a week because he got invited out to a bar. He didn't even invite me to go with him. FML

#13782541
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13639) - you deserved it (38181)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:11pm - health - by worthless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42248) - you deserved it (7367)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me, when I got off he smiled and told me as the doors were closing "the last twelve times was for fun." FML

#13777972
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (2791)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by nameless - United Kingdom

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

#13777689
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41971) - you deserved it (7262)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML

#13777488
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29512) - you deserved it (7131)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by redlips - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was taking medicine for my sinus problems and trying to write an essay. I got most of the way done, then unexpectedly fell asleep on my keyboard. When I woke up, my face was wet. I drowned my laptop in my drool. FML

#13777166
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23647) - you deserved it (6129)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:17pm - work - by drooooooool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

#13777099
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10096) - you deserved it (35325)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by johnboy - United States (West Virginia)



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