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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML

#6686658
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7668) - you deserved it (28011)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by HarryBeast (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8265) - you deserved it (35675)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

#6683091
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46836) - you deserved it (2542)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

kitkatkelly's comment : Hey, you had him first. Seriously though, this is so sad :\

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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being superficial. She said I was superficial because I paid $100 for acne medication, because she always complained about how much acne I had. FML

#6682554
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32159) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/09/2009 at 5:19pm - love - by Superficial (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

#6681986
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32420) - you deserved it (3658)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:06pm - love - by boogerbrain (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said "What a nice young man," and he said. "It's ok, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

#6681968
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24299) - you deserved it (5624)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

#6680888
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (2016)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by aawkward... (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I received my camera in the mail. I had sent it back to the company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading the note they put in, it said, "Battery was put in backwards. No other problems found." FML

#6680274
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5639) - you deserved it (41545)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by her0x3her0ine617 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

#6679644
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7861) - you deserved it (68170)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)

awesome_o's comment : YDI for calling them dingleberries

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Today, I received a private message on Facebook, from a woman I've never heard of, subject: "Eric X's wife says HI." She goes on to say that she is going to find me, and ruin my life the way I have ruined hers. I've never even heard of Eric X and am happily engaged. FML

#6679301
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (2093)

On 12/09/2009 at 11:31am - love - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26898) - you deserved it (2947)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

#6677904
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44775) - you deserved it (21392)

On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Brukernavn's comment : Note to self: Don't marry while still a horny teenager.

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Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML

#6677615
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33146) - you deserved it (2334)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:31am - love - by im_not_me (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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