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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized that going back on birth control has made my acne go away and my boobs bigger. However, to my boyfriend's dismay, I've completely lost my sex drive. FML

#10435354
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (4893)

On 05/09/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

#10433872
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36974) - you deserved it (9516)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States

chocolateybar's comment : YOUR FRIEND ROCKS :">

See all the comments →

Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML

#10433797
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32094) - you deserved it (4680)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:15am - intimacy - by izzie (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

#10414091
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39324) - you deserved it (3248)

On 05/08/2010 at 6:07am - intimacy - by notmydad. (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

#10398806
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37674) - you deserved it (5193)

On 05/07/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SkiMaskFukd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm having a nice evening out on the town. After my complimentary round of drinks for my birthday, my friend walks in with a big pink gift-box. It was an inflatable... erm... 'friend.' Which then got unwrapped in front of several of my other friends. And several members of my family. FML

#10396972
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27084) - you deserved it (4621)

On 05/07/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

#10334392
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25135) - you deserved it (14635)

On 05/04/2010 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Rejection (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I signed in my msn messenger. Everyone in my friends list apparently changed their status to 'busy' or 'away' when they saw me online, including my crush. FML

#10289820
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30218) - you deserved it (8966)

On 05/02/2010 at 4:37am - misc - by everyonehatesme (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both myspace and facebook before saying to me that he was "Too busy to have sex." FML

#10288780
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26379) - you deserved it (5182)

On 05/02/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to do something fun and spontaneous, so we had sex in the disabled toilet in the shopping centre. Little did we know, the male AND female toilets were conveniently being cleaned at the time, so the only toilet open was the disabled one. Walk of shame. FML

#10279492
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9811) - you deserved it (43125)

On 05/01/2010 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by sam (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

#10166473
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25643) - you deserved it (15789)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

#10158363
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (9141)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Rowden (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML

#10132808
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9590) - you deserved it (41444)

On 04/25/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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