Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML
by srsly_what / 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
txgirl2013's comment : well he didnt reach and grab it did he?
by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous
by cnamobi / 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
cradle6's comment : Did you ever think about addressing this problem a little earlier?
by spartanson / 04/28/2011 at 6:28am / Miscellaneous
allmidnighteyes's comment : Your dad is Charlie Sheen?
Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML
by ummno / 04/28/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML
by tryandtryagain / 04/28/2011 at 12:04am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, while hiking, my dad decided we should take the beeline trail down the mountain to save time. We got to the bottom of the mountain when we discovered it was the wrong side of the mountain. We had to hike 13 extra miles around it to get back to our car. FML
by lostinthewoods / 04/27/2011 at 10:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by suckishbf / 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love