Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

#5958359
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45773) - you deserved it (2640)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by abdominates (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, they are pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I am three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

#5958040
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32735) - you deserved it (3346)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to remind my roommates of the importance of wearing clothing at all times in the common living area. My roommates are my parents. FML

#5957888
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (5422)

On 10/23/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by ihatemylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my old highschool math teacher called me, asking me to please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she's drunk, and declares her eternal love to him. FML

#5957571
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32198) - you deserved it (3822)

On 10/23/2009 at 11:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, my son's teacher told me that I should take my son to the doctor, because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They ran some tests, and then removed a peanut that's apparently been lodged in his nose for months. FML

#5957039
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30024) - you deserved it (4610)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by CarolinaD - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

#5955896
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38888) - you deserved it (3225)

On 10/23/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by effmylife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

#5955590
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23979) - you deserved it (7522)

On 10/23/2009 at 4:56am - work - by BoogieCandy. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

#5954994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33312) - you deserved it (5686)

On 10/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by wahwah (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11624) - you deserved it (43948)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

#5953871
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9728) - you deserved it (35414)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while trying on a dress, my sister came up behind me and poked my back, asking, “What have you stuck down your dress?” I hadn’t put anything down the back of my dress; it was just my back fat. FML

#5953785
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (9152)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know whats more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for 3 years. FML

#5953662
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26330) - you deserved it (6323)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by efmylife (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking down the street in downtown Charleston where there are a lot of horse-drawn carriage tours and I decided to pick up some litter. Some of it was in a puddle of water, but after I picked up the trash, I realized the puddle was horse urine. FML

#5953331
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21971) - you deserved it (8401)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Leash (man) - United States (South Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: