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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

#13812694
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10831) - you deserved it (30713)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Hallands Lan)

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

#13812395
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29255) - you deserved it (10990)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:06am - love - by sayno (woman) - Switzerland

Today, at work I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then shows up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

#13811167
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30762) - you deserved it (4848)

On 11/12/2010 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while in my drama class, my character in a play has to quickly jump up out from his desk. Somehow, my shirt got caught on the desk, ripping it almost completely off in front of a live audience. FML

#13810188
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (3050)

On 11/12/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, 3 policemen interrogated me and asked for ID but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML

#13810119
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32048) - you deserved it (5462)

On 11/12/2010 at 12:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

#13808592
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38309) - you deserved it (3509)

On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML

#13807463
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9313) - you deserved it (25607)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:40pm - misc - by hot4donny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

#13806483
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29118) - you deserved it (5686)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

#13805619
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (2879)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were in his car when he burst out crying, I thought it might have been because we had gotten into a huge fight and he felt bad. No, he cried on my shoulder for a half hour because he misses his ex-girlfriend. He's been writing songs about wanting her back. FML

#13805419
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36491) - you deserved it (3770)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the weather man announced that today's forecast will include heavy rain and hail in my city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. However, my house has no roof at the moment. FML

#13803743
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (4466)

On 11/11/2010 at 4:40pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles, when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

#13801861
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28462) - you deserved it (4695)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:11pm - health - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML

#13801774
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30459) - you deserved it (3311)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:02pm - animals - by jordanss - United States (Texas)



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