Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

#13822249
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32064) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by tmac05 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

#13822248
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26450) - you deserved it (9248)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:12am - love - by baconbreath=| - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, my manager fell in front of an entire lobby full of people on a wet floor. I'm the only one who burst out laughing. Turns out she has a broken arm. FML

#13821323
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10078) - you deserved it (35727)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:10pm - work - by klm878 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

#13818432
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (14206)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by penguins (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that even though I've taken three years of Spanish, the only words and phrases I can remember are from Dora the Explorer. FML

#13818427
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (12221)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by rog3rli (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13818357
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (7279)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

#13817966
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37013) - you deserved it (7079)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

#13816723
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (4845)

On 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML

#13815438
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8086) - you deserved it (42731)

On 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22784) - you deserved it (40770)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I contacted a girl who dropped her ID at a club last night. I offer to drive 2 hours to return her ID to her. She is thrilled. When I arrive, she gives me a strange look, takes the ID, and runs back into her house. A two hour drive without even a thank you. FML

#13813552
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31503) - you deserved it (13206)

On 11/12/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

#13813299
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27701) - you deserved it (6101)

On 11/12/2010 at 9:06am - love - by Samipearl - United States (Georgia)



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