Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

#6753816
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (5866)

On 12/14/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by fire - United States

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

#6753896
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10534) - you deserved it (33287)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9088) - you deserved it (58018)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

#6753336
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (9468)

On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36812) - you deserved it (2279)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, I told my husband that while he was away I had had a miscarriage. His response? "If you can't take care of our baby while it is still inside you, how can I trust you to take care of it when it comes out?" FML

#6752846
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36173) - you deserved it (2937)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by sadsadlady (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch". I had to wash his plate. FML

#6752832
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29104) - you deserved it (1724)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by militarywife2b - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

#6752587
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (5970)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34891) - you deserved it (10562)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML

#6751982
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32960) - you deserved it (5318)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:08pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got an email from the Law School Admissions Council saying that they received my request for my LSAT cancellation and they are confirming that it has been cancelled. The email also said the score will not be reinstated for any reason. I never requested for my score to be cancelled. FML

#6751692
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28064) - you deserved it (1825)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:20pm - misc - by dahlia87 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

#6751631
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (4568)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:06pm - love - by Mojo (woman) - United Kingdom



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