Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML

#10553243
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (4981)

On 05/15/2010 at 7:47pm - love - by ihatelaura (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I stopped at a yellow light. The guy behind me did not. He had no insurance. FML

#10549258
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33960) - you deserved it (6472)

On 05/15/2010 at 3:41pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I am severely hungover. Upon returning home, I came to find that both of the elevators were out of order. I live on the 12th floor. FML

#10547864
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14098) - you deserved it (32216)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:01pm - misc - by prettybich - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML

#10546987
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41835) - you deserved it (3466)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:07pm - love - by schwange (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lectured my second-grade class to be more descriptive in their writing. I gave them an assignment to describe something in the classroom. I was grading their work later, and one student wrote, "My class is taught by a fat teacher with gray hair." FML

#10541725
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (15971)

On 05/15/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Teaching26 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

#10540841
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (3093)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:27am - misc - by sheridan.ashley (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

#10540759
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10791) - you deserved it (45808)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Staples - United Kingdom

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

#10539728
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (2333)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:09am - health - by bitten (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tripped in front of my graduation class of 225 and all of their relatives while receiving my diploma. FML

#10532654
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25737) - you deserved it (4376)

On 05/14/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML

#10521391
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25792) - you deserved it (4906)

On 05/14/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by superhero1043 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML

#10520855
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8941) - you deserved it (29563)

On 05/14/2010 at 12:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend told me that she is only my friend because she is prettier than me and being my friend boost her confidence. FML

#10520303
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28744) - you deserved it (2811)

On 05/14/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by fothermuckerrr - United States (Tennessee)



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