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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19896) - you deserved it (45188)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, hoping to avoid the rain because I had just gotten an expensive perm, I ducked under an awning. At that moment, the store manager shook the awning, and about 6 hours of rain dumped on my head. FML

#11853841
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32332) - you deserved it (7871)

On 07/13/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by dammitrain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I slipped on the wet floor at work and sprained my wrist badly. I was carrying the wet floor sign so no one would slip. FML

#11852475
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33562) - you deserved it (6757)

On 07/13/2010 at 2:28pm - work - by babygirllxo - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

#11849273
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18284) - you deserved it (27554)

On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I must be the only person who has been taking the contraceptive pill for six years without ever needing to use it as a contraceptive. FML

#11848854
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (8909)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:27am - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11673) - you deserved it (38123)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML

#11846674
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36683) - you deserved it (12084)

On 07/13/2010 at 5:22am - misc - by Sally - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML

#11846185
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14358) - you deserved it (38453)

On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40278) - you deserved it (10206)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, tired of my social anxiety making me look uncool, I told everyone I was going out partying tonight. I'm actually just going to watch 'Jersey Shore' and pretend I'm with the cast. Something even more sad? I'm really excited. FML

#11838934
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30465) - you deserved it (17246)

On 07/12/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by Fefe (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML

#11834698
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17603) - you deserved it (26396)

On 07/12/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML

#11832599
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32398) - you deserved it (4647)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:56pm - animals - by maggotsinmycarpet - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

#11831310
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12688) - you deserved it (68577)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (man) - United States (Illinois)



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