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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today , after aving been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposd to cruelty to animals , I lost a bet and ad to eat a wole ceeseburger. I lovd it. FML

#7666116
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10518) - you deserved it (52063)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

TODAY , MA MUM GOT UPSAT WIT MA 4 GATTING MA FIRST ANGOVAR AVAR AFTAR BAING OF LAGAL DRINKING AGA 4 OVAR 6 YAARS. SA IS A CLOSAT ALCOOLIC IN DANIAL WO IDAS RAD WINA BOTTLAS AROUND TA OUSA. FML

#7663968
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (2812)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:49am - health - by mirrorfad - Sent from mobile version

Today I went in to work and was handed a write-up fir having lied about bieng sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens fir cold medicine. FML

#7662732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29144) - you deserved it (1959)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - health - by sixxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today... I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other grls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6298) - you deserved it (27023)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, ma fiancé told me e didn't ave te money to make payments on ma engagement ring and tat I eiter ave to return it, or make te payments myself. Now we aren't engaged any more, and r "dating." mega FML

#7657890
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27520) - you deserved it (4022)

On 01/28/2010 at 10:32pm - love - by oregongrl1991 - Sent from mobile version

Yesterday , I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping , however , I caught mah ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4681) - you deserved it (47919)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if se got a tramp stamp. FML

#7651599
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26754) - you deserved it (2242)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up thier mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's yur tip 4 the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, ma eadpones were broken, so I fixed tem wit super glue. Witout tinking, I stuck tem in ma ear and listened to some music. Wen it came time to take looool tem out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8062) - you deserved it (46788)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today Mah Boyfriend And I Were Having A Make-out Session In The Backseat Of His Car When We Heard A Voice Coming From His Pants!! Who Did He Pocket Dial? My House!! At Midnight When I Was Supposed To Be Home!! FML

#7644201
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10312) - you deserved it (31688)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by Whoops - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at work, mah boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping mah manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up mah shoe and the floor and putted mah hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML

#7643965
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28844) - you deserved it (3399)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:12pm - work - by sucksssssss - Sent from mobile version

Today , I had to cancel all of the plans to go away on a romantic weekend looool with my boyfriend. My parents are going out of town 4 a night and I have to stay home a babysit my little sister. She's 19. FML

#7643395
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30445) - you deserved it (4602)

On 01/28/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by bw9669 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was potty training mah nephew . He had been on the toilet fir almost twenty minutes an could not go . My phone started ringing, an as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet . He then peed an pooped on it . FML

#7642082
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28092) - you deserved it (3353)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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