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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

#8074615
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15440) - you deserved it (6983)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by bender (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working when an older lady came up to buy a coffee. Her son cried for a cup of whipped cream to snack on. She shook her head, silently telling me to say no. I said we were out. The mother took her drink and said, "I'm sorry honey, but the mean man said you couldn't have any." FML

#8069688
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/09/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over because he thought it was his 1 year old son. He saw me lying on the ground and said, "Oh. It's you," and then left to watch the hockey game. FML

#8067706
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23712) - you deserved it (2566)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by spanishgirl101 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML

#8067680
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9254) - you deserved it (37500)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm - love - by caughttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I panicked when I felt a hard bump on the side of my stomach. I thought I had appendicitis. Turns out it was my ab muscles. I've been overweight so long I didn't know what they felt like. FML

#8063037
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7945) - you deserved it (22900)

On 02/09/2010 at 8:16pm - health - by conchita (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

#8062082
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7679) - you deserved it (14237)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12043) - you deserved it (23887)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

#8052181
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8579) - you deserved it (33077)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by fbcaught (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34922) - you deserved it (4525)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34796) - you deserved it (3260)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I returned home to my girlfriend after being away for 6 weeks of work. I decided to take a shower and change before having a nice dinner with her. Without looking I grabbed a random pair of jeans from my closet to put on. They were Levis. I don't own or wear any Levis. FML

#8048706
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35382) - you deserved it (2670)

On 02/09/2010 at 10:43am - love - by safariboo - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet. And then fling it at me. FML

#8047557
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26084) - you deserved it (5917)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:56am - health - by caitplaysguitar (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

#8047035
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22383) - you deserved it (6594)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:26am - health - by mynameislor - Canada (Ontario)



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