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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

#11831310
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12687) - you deserved it (68576)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

#11825114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (5184)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by Wrongtoilet (man) - Singapore

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

#11824802
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15340) - you deserved it (46960)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:52am - health - by fat - United States

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

#11822589
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27548) - you deserved it (8059)

On 07/12/2010 at 1:38am - animals - by LexiBoBexi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

#11821332
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40806) - you deserved it (3057)

On 07/12/2010 at 12:31am - health - by Sarah220 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33917) - you deserved it (10025)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after being at summer camp for two weeks, my parents never showed up to take me home. A counselor had to drive me. FML

#11815113
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42771) - you deserved it (2880)

On 07/11/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Nancy - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

#11811158
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (5149)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

#11808834
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33947) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33695) - you deserved it (4327)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

#11804292
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37549) - you deserved it (3504)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Cheyenne - United States (Washington)

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

#11803226
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16999) - you deserved it (26919)

On 07/11/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I made my mom a mix CD for her car. It took me ages to find just the right songs that would be perfect for her. When I played it for her in the car, she took it out and threw it out of the window. FML

#11798606
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (5100)

On 07/10/2010 at 9:00pm - misc - by lovelikewoe (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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